I caught up with the delightful comedian Alan Carr as he prepares for the first screening of his new chat show, Alan Carr: Chatty Man, that starts tomorrow night on Channel 4. The frisky little thing couldn’t keep his hands off of me! Yikes

Hi Alan, to start with what’s different about your chat show then?
Well we went down the route of wanting it to be set in a youth hostel or an exercise establishment or Guantanamo Bay or something quirky but eventually we settled for making it a chat show. It’s called Chatty Man and it’s what it is. It’s a twist in the format and I hope it’s a good enough twist. Just call me the new Parkinson.
I mean, you watch a cooking problem nowadays and it’s fairly boring but then a show like Come Dine With Me comes along and that guy who does the voiceover makes the show entertaining. It’s really entertaining. I hope that I will be entertaining. We’ve had Jerry Springer and Denise Van Outen and all sorts of people in the pilots for the show. We’ve had Gok Wan and Joanna Page too. So we’ve got good guests and for a pilot it was fun as hell.

Who’s on your wishlist for guests on your chat show?
The top of my list is the Dog Whisperer. I really want the Dog Whisperer. I wanted to watch my monkey baby show last night. Then I forgot to Sky+ it. I love shows like that. It looked amazing and it had these people who believed monkey’s were their children. The other good one was the guy with the dolls who believed they were his children. Crazy stuff.

Alan above with this week’s guest Heather Graham…..star of the brilliant new flick The Hangover

Would you want Madonna on your show?
I’d love Madonna and that lot but they are just so media trained and dull. I talked to Kylie at the Glamour Awards but I was too shy to ask her. So I didn’t. I love people like Katy Perry, Samuel L Jackson and Barbara Windsor. Katy’s boobs are big – I wonder if she’s done a Madonna and gone and ‘fallen off her horse’ and then gone into hospital and had some plastic surgery with a good cover up! Her face scares me now.

What about you and plastic surgery?
Somebody asked me this today too – it’s pissing me off. I mean. I don’t know. I don’t know whether I’d have surgery or anything. I won’t get it done.

You’re a Gemini. Do you have a split personality?
Oh yes, I mean sometimes I can just snap. I don’t think Gemini’s are two faced. I just think we bottle things up and then explode and then people all say: “Oh they’ve changed etc.” But we haven’t really. Gemini’s put up with a lot of shit.

They often say comedians are quite ‘down’ people. Are you?
No, I’m not like that. I know a lot of comedians that are! You get them around for dinner and you expect them to be fun and it’s just dull and boring and becomes a really tricky situation. I won’t name names.

Is Justin Lee Collins competition now you both have chat shows?
Not really, no. I was a guest on his so I’ll hopefully get him on mine. It did piss me in when he started losing weight recently though. We made a fat pact and promised we would stay fat and then I switched on and he was this emaciated creature. He’s gaunt and his ribs poke out more than Jordan’s do. I’m sure it has something to do with prescription drugsm bulimia and heroin – that’s what I heard anyway.

Would you go to America?
They wouldn’t understand me. They are so political over there and they wouldn’t understand me at all. There’s also loads of religious issues too. I just wouldn’t.

Alan above with another  of his guests, Ross Kemp

How is your love life?
It’s good – I’m seeing somebody now. It just got boring with the Gok Wan thing and everyone trying to set us up – so I got a guy in the industry anyway. He’s a break dancing Grandad. He’s fit and flexible. He’s not really.
It’s nice to be a little bit settled down. I had so many years of bad luck in the gay world and was always the one holding the coat by the side of the dancefloor so it’s nice to be settled. The gay world’s funny – it’s either twinks or muscle Mary’s and I’m neither of them. I guess you could describe me as a bitter old Drag Queen. Ha ha. The gay scene is soul destroying so it’s lovely to come home and get a take away and have a drink watching the telly. It’s not as if all gay people get in and pout pink crop tops on and head to GAY nightclub with poppers in our hand.

What about taking over from Fern Britton on This Morning?
Erm, well yes of course I’d love to. Ha ha. I’m joking. You see people think that job’s easy, but it’s not. One minute you’re laughing about a funny looking vegetable and then you have to ditch the laughter for somebody who’s skin’s falling off. It’s a tough job. Fern manages to do that well. Mind you – maybe I could because Fern seems to wet herself throughout the show. Phillip mentions a single joke and she’s off.

Susan Boyle – discuss!
I feel sorry for Susan. What a shattered dream. I didn’t struggle with fame because I appreciated it for what it was – I’ve packed boxes in factories and know where I’ve come from! I’m just so blessed now. One thing I can’t imagine is Susan Boyle at the Priory. It’s like Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty and all – and there’s SuBo sitting in the corner. I don’t get why people go there. What’s she exhausted from. She spent more time lifting her skirt up and showing her fanny off than singing on BGT. It’s going to take it’s toll yanking that dress up for Piers Morgan – no wonder she’s exhausted.

Do you ever get nervous meeting celebrities?
No I don’t. Ever since my days working on the Jonathan Ross show I’ve just met them all. From Paul Newman and Jane Fonda right the way through to our top stars over here like Wolf from Gladiators. People are just people. There’s a magazine that says: “Look, stars are just like us.” And there’s a picture of them shopping. Of course they are just like us. They are normal and human beings.

Alan Carr: Chatty Man starts on Channel 4 Sunday 14th June at 10pm.

Ciara revealed all about life on the road with Britney Spears at the weekend’s fantastic Capital FM Summertime Ball. It doesn’t sound like Ciara got that close to the Princess of Pop. But it’s interesting all the same!

How is touring with Britney?
Oh, it was fun! We’re on show number 4 I think and the energy is amazing. Britney is a sweet girl and her production is crazy, so it’s really a lot of fun. I love coming to the UK and it seems more and fun every time I come!

What’s Britney like!?
Oh, she’s a sweetheart! And her production is just amazing, so I give it to her – she works a long set. She’s really cool, really sweet girl!

What was it like writhing around with [her ex] Justin Timberlake on the ‘Love, Sex, Magic’ video!?
It was fun! Justin’s really down to earth – one of those artists who when I look back years from now, will be one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had with an actual artist. You know, he’s just really cool!

Justin or Enrique?
I can’t say! Both! Ha ha!

Anything funny happening on tour with Britney?
I’m sure there has. Oh, well I don’t know whether I want to tell you what goes on because I’ll give it away and you’ll know it’s me when I’m doing it – but maybe a little later I’ll tell you. The way it all goes down…it’s something hilarious.

Do you socialise with Britney after the show?
No, the first day, she came by and said ‘Hi’! But we’ve pretty much been getting on with the show. But we have said ‘hi’ and when I pass her I’m like ‘Hey Brit!’ so we’ve had those moments!

Has she given you any advice?
Oh no, we didn’t talk that much!

And before you go on stage, do you do any exercises? You both have amazing figures!
Thank you! I’ll be honest – I haven’t trained in so long, but what I do do is stretch. Definitely stretching. I sit there and do splits and hold for a few seconds. I listen to my music – my show music – and get into the mood, play around and have fun!

What about Britney?
I couldn’t even tell you!

What do you do to stay in shape?
It’s all about moderation – eating in moderation. I just try not to overeat when it comes to desserts and I try to go easy on the carbs because that’s where it really kicks the butt! Every day…Brownie, brownie, brownie, French fries, French fries, burger, burger! So I just try to cut down a little – if I’m getting ready for an Awards do or a video or photoshoot, I like to work out!

What kind of exercise do you do?
I train for like an hour. I do a little weight training and I do a little cardio – too much will make me go skinny!

I’m used to celebrities getting wasted, making fools of themselves and larking around.

But what I witnessed at London’s Cuckoo nightclub this week was beyond anything I’ve ever seen before.

Step forward fallen movie star Lindsay Lohan who was on the table next to me at the Swallow Street venue.

I watched open-mouthed as Linds sat with her straggly hair all over her face looking strangely detached from the world and mumbled: “I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged.”

Unfortunately, the creepy behaviour continued as Lindsay and her posse visited the bathrooms.

My spy tells me: “She just wouldn’t stop saying she felt caged. She was just not all there and it really was like watching a broken girl in the middle of a complete breakdown.

“She spent much of the night furiously texting Sam Ronson – and wasn’t best pleased about the texts she was getting.

“Everyone with her was actually very concerned about her. She seemed like a girl on the brink of self- destruction.”

And there was even more cause for concern when Linds returned from the loo.

My jaw once again dropped as Lindsay – who had a vodka in hand throughout the night – squirmed around as if trying to hide in a ball on the floor.

Maybe this bizarre behaviour has something to do with on/off girlfriend Sam as she’s believed to be the real reason behind Lindsay’s visit to the UK.

Even after two years of going in and out of rehab, it seems like Linds has a long way to go before she’s back on track!

Congrats to Emma Bunton who’s thrilled to have bagged a radio show on Heart 106.2 FM. I hooked up with her for a natter at the studio this week.

As Baby Spice, Emma Bunton was the youngest member of the hottest girl band of the day – but now she admits she can’t stand the sight of sexy girl bands – because their super skinny figures make her green with envy.

She says: “There’s this huge poster of The Saturdays outside my window in the Heart FM studio and they look so young and slim and gorgeous and I had to move it the other day! It made me jealous!”

But in actual fact. Emma  33, doesnt really have much to worry about. The mum-of-one is a toned size 10, but she admits she has to work hard to keep in shape with diets and work outs.

She says she’s self-conscious of her weight and hated looking fat on stage, during the  Spice Girls reunion tour just after having son Beau.

Emma bravely took to the stage two years ago just months after giving birth in front of thousands of screaming fans.

But it was a decision she immediately regretted.

She said: “I was insane to go on the Spice tour three months after having Beau. I wouldn’t put myself through it again.

“At the time I was very self conscious about it all. It was awful. I remember being on stage and going numb and thinking everyone was looking at my body and that it wasn’t perfect and I was next to the other girls.

“My mum pulled me aside after two nights and said: “We can see you are not being yourself.” I was just so self conscious and scared of what people were saying.

“From that moment on I had to enjoy it – everyone knew I had just had a baby and as it turned out the tour was the best way to work off my baby weight.”

But the mum-of-one admits a recent Spice Girls outing to see Girls Aloud also brought on a bit of envy.

She said: “Girls Aloud were great. We went back and saw them before the show.

“They are always so made up and gorgeous. I’ve always loved their music.

“They were in their little robes and it made me think how much I love our Spice Girls robes and the thrill of touring. I was jealous!”

But Emma is keen to play down any comparision with Girls Aloud.

She said: “I’m not sure we can be compared. It must be hard for any girl band because people do automatically compare them with us.

“I love Girls Aloud but with our show it was all about fun and we enjoyed every minute. It was more raw and fun. That’s the difference with the girl bands nowadays.”

Emma still has fond memories of her days in the famous Girl Band.

“I bloody loved the Spice Girls,” she says. “We had such a laugh and I guess at the end we all wanted to try different things and sometimes you just can’t go back and try and repeat something.

“Saying that I do put me pig tails in sometimes and walk around being Baby Spice. I loved being with the girls but everyone does have to move on in some way – even me.” she laughs

The Spice Girls have no plans to reform but should Emma need to get back into her Spice outfits, she’d be ready.

She has a furious fitness regime, employs a personal trainer and – in time of need -  cheats with Spanx pants.

Emma laughs: “Spanx pants got me through the time after having Beau. They still come out to play now too. They really are good for any occasion!

“Especially if you are like me and get a little bloated on pasta. They’ll hold everything in!”

Not that Emma has that much to hold in – although she’s got a way to go before her abs measure up to her Spice colleague Mel B who recently admitted she does 600 sit-ups to achieve her ripped abs.

“Can you believe she does 600? That’s nuts,” she exclaims. “Twenty sit ups and I’m done but I honestly don’t know how Mel finds the time to work out like she does as a mum of two. I guess she’s always had such a great figure though.

“Sometimes I wish I could be a fitness freak – but it’s not me. I guess as I’m getting older I need to look after myself better.

“I work out with a trainer three times a week and we’ll do a run on a treadmill, a bit of cycling and some weights.

“I don’t follow a particular diet – I’m fairly careful with food and if I want to slim down I’ll stick to fresh fish and salads.

“In the Spice days it was a case of if we had a video coming up I’d be great and diet and work out the week before to trim down.

“Nowadays I feel like I need five months to get prepared for slimming down.” she laughs

Baby Beau, her son with long term boyfriend ex Damage star Jade Jones is 22 months old now, but Emma has no immediate plans to add to her brood.

“I’m not planning another but I definitely want more children. I just want one more but Jade wants a few more.

“I was like: “Hold on, wait a minute.” I’m only just getting my body back and being able to get my mum over to baby-sit so I can go out and have fun so the last thing I want to think about is another baby right now.”

Last year Emma made her mark on television by appearing as Dannii Minogue’s guest mentoring her contestants in the bootcamp stage of X Factor. And like every one else, she was glued to Britains Got Talent – and has a lot of sympathy for Susan Boyle.

“It must be so hard for Susan Boyle being alone and going through all this. I don’t think the show’s to blame at all – it’s down to the person. Some people can deal with the fame aspect and some can’t.

“And she clearly is having trouble. It’s must be a bizarre situation for her because she didn’t realise that first performance was literally going to change her life forever.”

“I think it was easier for us when we found fame. To start with we had a few months of being together before being launched, there were five of us and we could rely on each other.”

Emma is fiercely protective of her private life and would hate to live like her mega star ex-bandmate Victoria Beckham.

She said: “I wouldn’t want to have to deal with having no anonymity like Victoria has to. It’s never been me. I’ve always kept my privacy. Especially with Beau I feel it’s his choice if he wants to be an actor or a star and be in the limelight – not my right to decide. So I have to respect and look after him and keep his privacy.

“Victoria and David don’t have any choice about it now. They are pictured whatever they do and it must be hard.”

Emma and Jade are blissfully happy togetehr but have  no plans to dash up the aisle.

“I don’t know if there’ll ever be a wedding. It would be fun I guess but because we’ve been together for this long we feel like we’re already married.

“Jade even calls me the old dear sometimes. It’s like we’re married anyway. Some girls grow up wanting a wedding but I never did. I wasn’t worried. I know if I did then it wouldn’t be a big dress – it would be very slinky and cool”

And in her current shape  she wouldn’t even be needing those Spanx…. .

Emma Bunton Presents Friday drivetime on London’s Heart 106.2 and Saturday afternoons from 4pm on the Heart network, starting on Friday 12th June.

Watch me nattering with Emma by clicking here and scrolling down!

I had to laugh when rudely interrupted from talking to Kissed A Girl singer Katy Perry by Gossip Girl’s hunky Ed Westwick at last week’s wonderful Glamour Awards. I stood open mouthed as Ed told Katy: “I have to leave. Can I get your number?”
She replied: “Of course. Do you really have to go now? Where are you going back to?”
Ed then whispered into her ear and left smiling seductively. He looked like a lion ready for a feed. No wonder she left soon afterwards…….

Yesterday was the day! Blue came back from the dead with an amazing set – performing for the first time since they split four years ago.

Lee Ryan tells me he’s been trying hard to get fit for the comeback at the Capital FM Summertime Ball in Arsenal’s Emirates Stadium.

He said: “We’ve all been trying to get in the gym – I think we are fitter than we’ve ever been. I tried taking spirulina because I heard it’s good for you but it  made me f**t. And they smelled like dead fish.”

Erm, some things are best kept to yourself Mr Ryan!

To watch a video of me talking to the lads click here and scroll down!

F1 star Jenson Button, who is thrilled with his five Grand Prix wins for the Brawn team so far this season told me at the Glamour Awards: “It’s been very funny watching people who basically wouldn’t even talk to me suddenly want to get to know me again. I’m now working out who is genuine in the industry.”

Joanna Page looked corking in a stunning Prada gown at the Glamour Awards. She told me: “This is definitely one of the best dresses I’ve borrowed for an awards event. It’s nice and tight and I feel like a lady in it.” Meanwhile Fearne Cotton came along with wavy long hair. She explained: “I was channeling Madonna during her Ray Of Light period.” It rocked!
Princess Beatrice, her boy toy Dave Clark and Jodie Kidd were the main guests at yesterday’s Polo In The Park at London’s Hurlingham Club. A fun chukka was had by all.

After revealing Jordan was smitten with model Anthony Lowther last week I thought it only fair to find out what actually went on. They didn’t go “all the way” according my spies, but who knows what the future holds. Ant tells me: “Katie’s a good laugh and a really nice girl.”

Congratulations to Strictly’s Brendan Cole and his model fiancee Zoe Hobbs.
The pair have decided to wed next June, giving Brendan’s family in New Zealand plenty of time to plan their trip to Blighty.

GMTV’s fab new host Emma Crosby had a scream at the glam opening night of Sister Act at the London Palladium last week. And she wasn’t the only one raving about the show – Bruce Forsyth, Gok Wan and Cilla Black were all there too!

I popped along to the Opening night of Britney Spears Circus tour this week. My one sentence review: Fabulous production, brilliant choreography, amazing costumes, a good set list and roughly 10 words sung live… it was worth every penny!

GMTV style guru Nick Ede launched his fabulous new Lost and Found range of jewellery last week for Hiho Silver and I popped along to catch up with the stars there.

Amanda Lamb beamed just 14 weeks after having baby daughter Willow but rushed off saying: “I can’t stay long. I’m breastfeeding and I’m literally scared of a leakage which wouldn’t be good on my dress.”
The star’s already back at work filming a new property show in the UK and will return to A Place In The Sun later in the year. She also told me she’s far from dieting to lose her baby bulge. She said: “I’m not on a weird diet or anything and I’m not under pressure to lose weight. I’m losing it slowly and that’s fine by me. I’m more worried about being a good mother to Willow.” And that she is!

Also at the bash was lingerie designer Caprice, 60 Minute Makeover host Hannah Sandling and GMTV’s Jenni Falconer.

The range of bling is absolutely fabulous – and reasonably priced in these times of Credit Crunch! Click here to check out the goods!!