Are your paws up, Little Monsters? Right, I shall begin.
At this week’s BBC Children in Need Rocks event in Manchester I was summoned to speak to the current Queen of Pop Lady Gaga.
Before you say it, obviously Madonna is the High Priestess of Pop and always will be. But there’s no escaping Gaga is pushing the boundaries of pop music these days.
Her album Born This Way is an international hit and she’s preparing to take the album on a world tour with the Born This Way Ball. If it’s anything like her debut tour Monster’s Ball then we’re in for a treat.
The first thing Gaga wanted to clear up was this supposed feud with Madonna. Recently Madge was heard saying, “Lady Who?” when asked about her Gaga at her W.E premiere in London. But the lady herself says there’s no beef between them. “Madonna is a wonderful influence on me, obviously,” she said. “I feel blessed to have grown up with a powerful blonde woman to show us all the ropes. It’s all down to her that I’m able to do what I do.
“I really like her new single too. The one that leaked. There’s no problem between us.”
Gaga, who sipped on a large glass of white wine while we nattered, had a lot to get off her chest when we met – she told me she’s yet to found a house and spend any of her estimated £60 million fortune.
“The truth is I’ve looked at a few places but I can’t find a house that is me,” she said. “There’s no gusto to settle down yet. I’m actually perfectly happy being a gypsy and being on the move. I’m not obsessed with anything material other than fashion when it comes to spending money. Just fashion. I don’t care for cars, boats or houses. The money just sits piled up in a bank and waves at me. I’m like, “hello money, it’s me!” every time I drive past a bank. I want to put all the money back into my career and my live shows.
“I stay at my parents a lot, in hotels and I’m quite happy – I’m only 25. People forget I’m young.”
And the star reveals she’s quite the domestic Goddess – even cleaning toilets, much to her friend’s amusement. “I last cleaned a toilet four months ago,” she laughed. “I was staying at a friend’s house and I’m actually very domesticated. I went to a friends and the toilet was dirty so I scrubbed it up. They came home laughing because I was in a weird skirt and a funny outfit and cleaning the toilet furiously. It obviously must have looked very amusing and they found it very funny.”
She nearly chokes on her vino when I suggest the word vacation. She’s given up trying to take a break. “I never take a vacation,” she scoffs. “Vacations are overrated. I do try and take them but once I arrive and I’m supposed to be on down time but I inevitably start writing and end up working. So it’s not a vacation at all. I try to chill out but it’s hard. For example I have a rule about melodies – if I think of a melody or lyric throughout the night but I can’t remember them in the morning then they were not worth it.”
Gaga, who performed a blistering three song set at Children in Need Rocks, only has one true way to chill out – watching TV cookery programmes and making Italian dishes herself. She reveals: “I watch cooking shows all the time. Non stop actually and I’m an excellent cook. You’d be very surprised if you came around for dinner. Anything Italian and I’m good at it. I grew up in a very Italian family.
“My father will just shout a recipe at me at home and I’ll make it. That’s my real vacation. Not so much palm trees and beaches – it’s going home and seeing my family. I’m a traditional woman in that way and I love going home to serve my dad and things.
“Art Smith is my favourite telly chef, I’m obsessed with him. I heard Gwyneth Paltrow was doing a show too. I bet she’s amazing – she’s a wonderful person. One of a kind.”
The star has just released a raunchy coffee table book with uber cool photographer Terry Richardson and will soon start upping the stakes preparing to tour. One thing you can definitely expect is live vocals from this girl. She think it would be cheating the fans if she couldn’t perform her hits live.
“You don’t want a pop star that can’t cut it live,” she says looking confused when I merely mention miming.  “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Everybody always laughs at me when I’m cutting vocals in the studio. I just stand there saying, “Man I fucking love to sing”. Performing is everything. Dancing and performing live is what I’m about. Creating a show is hard work but it’s been incredible. Working with designers on the live tour with the fashion and most importantly I’m going to be pushing the envelope on any tour anybody has ever seen. It’s going to be pushed from an innovation perspective with technology this time around. I wouldn’t ever consider miming a live performance. Not for a fucking second. I’d rather sound bad for a second or two than mime. With this life comes many blessings so the fans deserve the truth from me as a singer. No matter what.”
You can’t help but notice she’s been looking more ladylike and less kooky with her fashion of late. And why not – designers must be bashing her door down to get her wearing their couture creations. Gaga is the ultimate kooky clothes horse. She says: “It’s not a conscious move that I’m dressing a little more lady like at the minute I’m actually schizophrenic when it comes to fashion. It all depends on my attitude. Some days I want to be a lady and some days I mix it up. Lately I’ve been feeling feminine and sexy and I’m happier than I’ve ever been with my clothes.”
And with that our time together is over. As a parting gift she says: “Hey Dean, don’t you worry I’ll be back to my filthy attire very soon. You had better be ready.” Don’t let me down, Gaga.

Lady Gaga’s new single Marry The Night is out next Monday, The Monster Ball Tour is out now on DVD and Lady Gaga x Terry Richardson is out this week.

Barbara Windsor (above centre with me) sounds like she’s enjoying life after EastEnders. And she would be on our screens more if she had something she found a role she felt compelled to play. “The truth is Peggy Mitchell was a hard act to follow,” Babs told me at this week’s screening of Sky 1HD’s Little Crackers. “I know everybody knows I’ve done the Bingo adds. But I honestly haven’t found anything that floats my boat. If I had then I’d be busier but I haven’t yet.” It’s a travesty she’s not on our screens more. Check out Little Crackers on Sky1HD from December 18.

Kylie Minogue WILL be touring again next year to celebrate her 25 years in the music industry and her new orchestral hits album. But this time around expect something extremely different to her feather clad camp-offs of yester-year. My sources tell me she will most likely have creative director William Baker on board still but it won’t be the feather-fest of her huge stadium tours. “It will be smaller venues,” says my source. “She wants to showcase her voice minus the fizz. It will still be Kylie but very chilled with an orchestra.” I like the sound of this.
Meanwhile, the brunnette hair won’t be here for much longer. I’m told Kylie’s taken another small role in an indie film and she’s gone dark purely for said role. Bring back blonde Kyles….

So Leona Lewis is in the studio once again working on tracks for the next album. And she has a new partner in crime this time around – hitmaker Fraser T. Smith. The pair have been holed up in the studio for the past few weeks after Simon Cowell called in Fraser for his expert songwriting and producing skills. And if you ask me this is a GREAT move. Fraser’s responsible for some of the best hits of the last few years – Adele’s Set Fire To The Rain, James Morrison’s Broken Strings and Taio Cruz’s Break Your Heart. Good luck Le!

Cher Lloyd is taking steps to becoming a major big shot in the music world. Her album Sticks and Stones is riding high in the charts this week and now she’s gone and got herself new management with former Bros star Craig Logan. Cher becomes one of Craig’s first signings for Logan Media Entertainment in a deal that should see Cher start to really push some buttons across the pond in the States. After all, Craig was the man that guided Pink and countless others to superstardom.
Keep a look out on Cher’s twitter feed tomorrow – a little birdie tells me she will be announcing details for her debut tour….

The Wanted’s Max George, who was crowned Celebrity Spectacle Wearer 2011 this week, revealed that, with the band trying to crack America next year with Def Jam records, he and fiancee Michelle Keegan are pushing their wedding back until 2013. “The wedding has been delayed until the year after next ,” he admitted “It’s going to take some time. But the long distance always makes us stronger.” We’ll see….

Taio Cruz (above with me) tells me his work with Cheryl Cole on her third solo album is coming along very nicely indeed. We caught up for drinks alongside model Cara Delevinge at Whisky Mist this week where he was launching his new range of luxury RXTR watches. The Ketel One vodka flowed and Taio told me: “The tracks we’ve worked on are mid-tempo. Not party anthems like people have said. There’s three or so at the minute and she’s fantastic to work with.” I bet.

Calling all the secret Santas out there! Join Text SANTA and Ashley Banjo in an attempt to set a Guinness World Record™ for the ‘Largest gathering of people dressed as Santa Claus’ at the Oval Cricket ground in London next Sunday. It’s also being filmed for ITV’s Text SANTA launch show so you could be famous! Visit www.itv.com/textsanta for all the info.

Martine McCutcheon is hoping to make a return to the charts with a new album next year. The singer and actress has joined forces with her fiance songwriter Jack McManus, who also penned The Wanted’s latest single Warzone. “It’s going to be different to anything I’ve done before,” she told me at the Spectacle Wearer of the Year 2011 awards. “Jack’s the cool and trendy one and I’m more classic, so he’s helping to keep me more current. Between the two of us we’re a good team.”

Beverley Knight was back on top form this week performing as part of her Soul UK tour at the Royal Albert Hall. Lemar and Wretch 32 popped by to see Bev kill it on stage singing some of her greatest hits and tunes from new album Soul UK. X Factor finalist Johnny Robinson naturally stole the show when he pitched up to watch. Love that guy!

Get ready for Tulisa to unleash her solo material – and we should have it on our iPods for sometime around February. The star told me at Children in Need Rocks in Manchester organised by Gary Barlow (above with me): “You won’t have any new material until the start of the year. It’ll all be out in February. I’m happy to do it when X Factor has finished – I didn’t want to rush anything just to be able to perform on the show. I want to concentrate on the music and not be panicking about the acts going straight after I’ve performed.”
And it sounds like the judge is getting pretty excited about Little Mix starting to become real contenders to win X Factor. “I feel like Little Mix were the underdogs and they have risen up the polls,” she added. “I’m starting to imagine who could be in the final. I reckon Amelia will be in the final. She’s done so well. I think it’s because she’s new and fresh and people love that.”

Meanwhile Tulisa’s man Fazer is one busy man. He’s working on his debut solo album as well as Tulisa and Dappy’s own records. But the star, who has just released N-Dubz Greatest Hits, says to expect the unexpected. “I want to work with people like Phil Collins and surprise everyone,” he said. “Taking a sample of his or Stings songs would be good. Dappy and me are huge fans of the eighties. The way the records were structured worked. We’re all about big hooks and choruses.”
What can we expect from Tulisa’s record then? Fazer says: “Obviously Tulisa has been on X Factor and people think she’s going to come out with a ballad or summit. But she’s going to have a dance song straight away, then there’s a rock record, then a power ballad. She’s doing everything. Totally versatile. It will be an album for the masses.”
Fazer played extremely coy when the possibility of working with Rihanna was mentioned, as has been rumoured. “Fingers crossed,” is all he would say.

Rebecca Ferguson has ruled out a reunion with One Direction’s Zayn Malik – giving a collective sigh to loyal 1D fans.
Poor Zayn had deluded hopes of being able to pull Rebecca for the second time when he said he thought they were going to get back together in the future.
But Rebecca has other ideas. Talking at the launch of her great album Heaven she said there is already another mystery bloke on her speed dial list. Rebecca said: “Did he really say that? I’ve moved on to be honest, we won’t be getting back together.
“At the time I made a mature decision to split up because it wasn’t working. I’ve got my kids and family and my career to concentrate on.
“I wrote most of the songs on the album and a lot are about relationships I’ve had and breaking up with people and how you feel. It wasn’t just about Zayn but it was about all the relationships I’ve had I suppose.
“He’s lovely but I’m dating now. Well I say dating I haven’t actually had any time to go on any dates, but I’ve been texting someone. I don’t know where it is going to go, but it’s nice.” Watch this space!

BTW – really do check out Rebecca’s new album. It’s a good effort and worth purchasing. I particularly like the track Teach Me How To Be Loved. Feels a bit like it could be the track like Someone Like You was for Adele’s 21 album. Bold statement but this song is a corker from the very first listen.

I’ve had a really crappy crook in my neck for the past few months after putting my neck out with over enthusiastic moves on a  dancefloor (yes, I hear you all scream with laughter).                                                                                                                                          I was desperate to find an alternative therapy to ridiculously expensive chiropractor sessions that I was having and a friend of mine introduced me to Laurence at The Atlas Clinic.
To some up The Atlas Clinic – it’s fast becoming THE place for musculo-skeletal health and postural alignment amongst celebrities, pilates teachers and anyone who desires the opportunity for there body to work at its full potential.
Now, like you….I initially didn’t understand what the hell an Atlas was and I was highly sceptical about it. But after doing some research and being recommended the treatment by friends I took the plunge and had the treatment.
The best thing is it’s a one-off treatment and in almost every case should last for life.
Mr.Voigts is the only osteopath in the UK to offer this unique treatment and he quickly told me, in his opinion, the cornerstone of spinal health begins with restoring the position of the atlas C1 vertebra.
So what about the actual procedure? Well, the Atlas Profilax procedure is very gentle  involving a strategic massage to the upper cervical musculature using a specialised vibrating device. The treatment – which isn’t painful and is over within half an hour – can be effective for neck pain, lower back pain, whiplash, TMJ pain, headaches/migraine and even mental health.
I quickly realised I was not the first person to catch on to this new form of treatment in the UK. The celebs are all quietly visiting the Harley Street clinic on a Friday for their treatments.
In the past few weeks alone Dominic Cooper, Marc Warren, Abi Titmuss and a whole host of names are all swinging by.
Personally I felt an immediate relief in my neck. It was like balance was restored in my body. Admittedly at first I felt like my neck had turned to jelly but the sense of energy and relief was just fabulous.
I also found I was sleeping far better and in complete comfort – which hadn’t happened for ages!
Over the next few weeks I started to feel normal with my new neck.
Mr Voigts did tell me in my session that my Atlas was off to the right….probably from years and years of swimming as a youngster. It was interesting finding out about the Atlas too – I had no idea it could be so important and that a treatment like this could help me so much.
I honestly can’t recommend this treatment enough and urge you to visit www.theatlasclinic.com for more details and further information.

The website has a load of testimonials from patients about there experiences with The Atlas Clinic.

All other enquiries email Laurence@theatlasclinic.com.

Simon Cowell is delighted that last year’s X Factor winner Matt Cardle doing well with his debut album Letters. Matt told me at this week’s Hyde Park Winter Wonderland launch: “I spoke to Simon last week and he’s over the moon with how the album’s doing. He’s been really confident in it ever since he first heard it.” But the singer blames X Factor’s plummeting viewing figures this year on the latest crop of contestants. He said: “X Factor is still a great show, but the contestants are different every year, you can’t love one year and then love the next year!” Ouch!

Even though Channel 5’s OKTV! has been axed, its presenting duo Jenny Frost and Jeff Brazier don’t intend to part ways. She revealed: “Jeff and I are planning to do another TV programme together in the new year. We make a good team! We’re even here together tonight as our kids play so well.” Fingers crossed for you Jen!

Meanwhile, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson made a beeline, in her highly unsuitable sky-scraper heels, for the sweet shop, Mary Portas checked out the gift stalls (of course), Danny Dyer dropped his hard-man persona for the night to enjoy the rides and Gareth Gates was wondering around carrying a life-size pink teddy he’d won for his daughter! What a guy!

If you believe the rumours then Alan Carr has the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey on speed dial these days.
But the man himself says he’s not on personal terms with the vast amount of Hollywood stars that sit on his couch week in, week out.
“They’re not all my friends,” Alan, 35, says with his trademark honking voice. “Adele is a genuine friend – that’s about the only one that’s true. She came to my house the other night and with all that money she’s made she brought the cheapest s**t bottle of wine over.
“I asked why she’s bringing crap like that round my house when she’s on that bloody rich list – but she will never change.”
Alan’s show Chatty Man is one of the highest rated talk shows these days, he’s just wrapped his Spexy Beast sold out arena tour of the UK and he’s the toast of the comedy world.
But just because his credentials are impressive on paper doesn’t mean he has to act like one of the celebs in question. He claims to have a “morbidly obese BMI”, cuts triangles in his trousers to allow him to lie about his waist size and works out purely so he can eat more.
“I have the same personal trainer as Dermot O’Leary but I feel he’s doing a very different work out than me,” he says with a naughty smirk. “The trouble is I like eating. Dermot has a six-pack. I’m more like Natalie Cassidy – I go up and down. I wish I could be pencil thin – but I love food and life too much.
“I do physical training two times a week and he tells me to run by myself – which I do. But I can’t believe I’m so fat. My BMI is morbidly obese. I’m on the red bit that says, “Call a doctor if you’re going to do a s**t.”
“I cut a V in the back of my trousers because I can’t fit into them. I actually do that. That way you’re still a 34 inch waist despite filling it with something more. I also love standing next to fat people when I’m filming these days. It’s the only way to look slim. I permanently need Alison Hammond and Bella Emberg near me. I feel like a right **** now – Alison is so lovely.”

Alan, whose father is former Northampton Town and Nuneaton Borough FC manager Graham Carr, says he will never get married despite being settled down for the past two years with partner Paul. “Everyone wants Paul and me to get married,” he fumes. “I just don’t believe in it at all. I’ve seen so many marriages go up the swanny. So many go wrong.
“Also you spend a week in the Ukraine on the stag do. then the wedding in the highlands, it’s an Alice in Wonderland theme and then two months down the line it goes wrong at a cost of £10,000.”
When I suggest they join the forever growing line of celebrity gay dads he laughs. “There’s no way in hell we would have kids – I can’t even look after a bloody red setter,” he says. “I’ve got two of them and its hard work. I won’t have kids but I’m a godfather to loads of wonderful kids. It is nice to have them. I love them when they come but it’s lovely when they go.”
Alan made his name in 2006 with comedy partner Justin Lee Collins on the popular Channel Four show Friday Night Project. The pair split amicably in 2009 but you get the feeling Alan was glad of being able to go it alone and carve a career of his own.
Sadly the pair are hardly in touch these days – but Alan says there’s not been a big fall out.
Alan explains: “Justin texts me every so often. I’m not saying we’re best mates – we don’t have tattoos with each others names on us. But there wasn’t a fall out. The thing was with Friday Night Project is we got a bit sick of everything. The budgets were all cut, we couldn’t afford the prize at the end, the wheel people would lay on had to go back and we couldn’t do the show the way we wanted to. I remember once dressing up as Grace Jones and I had to wear a black bag for life. That’s all they could afford. I had two holes cut in the bag for my legs and came out in hives.”
He also says the fact they live so far apart also meant their friendship was always going to struggle.
“Justin lives in Bristol, I live in London,” he says. “It’s a bit like when you ask a former X Factor contestant if they still keep in touch with Simon Cowell. It just doesn’t happen. Justin’s got a kid and a wife. We rose to fame together and truth be known we were only supposed to stand in for one week as Jimmy Carr wasn’t available.
“I will be going to see him in Rock of Ages sometime soon. But to be honest he is so skinny and thin these days it’s hard to like him. He won’t tell me how he’s lost that weight at all. It’s probably speed. His hair was getting bigger and thicker as mine was receding and his belly was getting thinner as I was getting fatter. It was like sucking my blood. No but honestly, I’m pleased for him being on the stage and happy – he always wanted to sing.”

Alan freely admits he went on a date with fashion fixer Gok Wan when he was single – but things didn’t work out because they didn’t take things seriously and tweeted during their first date.
“People wanted us to be a couple – and we did go out a few times and everything but then it was always so funny,” he giggles. “When we were on a date we were both tweeting. I like Gok but it didn’t go further than dinner. He’s a great friend. Saying that it was a bit of a p*** take when he came round to my home for fashion fix and said I was the worst dressed person ever. Friends don’t do that!”
Alan is currently just off the road and ready to enjoy Christmas after wrapping up his Spexy Beast nationwide tour. He’s thrilled to have been back doing stand up once again and he’ll never forget his comedy roots. Alan said: “It’s four years since I’ve been on the road. I could have been cashing in far more. I mean the merchandise is where you earn the cash. I sell Alan Carr dog poo bags to start with. Seriously. My idea. I’ve got two dogs and you always get caught out.
“It was fun doing it live again. I started off by getting going above pubs to test out my material and they were grim. Really grim. People were shocked I was there and then there were some who can’t stand you and were yelling, “you’re s***”. And they do it all the way through. This was when I’d made my name and it’s supposed to be a treat that I play in their local pub.”

Alan reveals he still struggles with pre-show nerves. “I never puke with nerves but I have a few runny poos,” he says snorting. “I haven’t had a solid poo for years, darling. Lee Evans is crazy nervous and sweating. I get nervous, irritable and ratty and can’t eat before I do a show – that’s why I’m so fat. I come off at 10.30pm and have a Ginster’s pasty.”
Meanwhile there’s one star he’s still desperate to get on the couch for Chatty Man – Queen of Pop Madonna. But he wants Madonna from fifteen years ago, it would seem.
“I would love Madonna but she doesn’t do anything and she’s not that much fun these days,” he says. “I think I’d be able to get a good interview out of her though.
“I look back at those old Madonna clips and want the really naughty Madonna who wants to talk about sex and touch herself. Now she’s all about Malawi and all that – maybe a Lambrini on the show would loosen her up and she’d be great.”

Alan Carr chatty man is on C4 Sunday nights his new DVD Spexy Beast is out now

Pregnant Saturdays star Una Healy gave me a bell this week to talk about the bands new single My Heart Takes Over (out tom). She also took the opportunity to put all the rumours to bed over the future of the band. She says Frankie is on top form after her recent illness (and rehab spell) and the future looks bright. “We’re in it for the long run,” she said. “We’ve got this album to release which we’re really happy with and then the UK tour and then next year there will be another album. Things are good now. I’m obviously going to be doing the tour – which is 12 dates – then having my baby girl and then going off for a few weeks before coming back to start work on the next record. The fans needn’t worry – we’re not going anywhere.”

It could have been a very different MTV EMA performance from Queen. I hear Brian May and Roger Taylor initially approached Lady Gaga to perform with them for  medley of their hits at the event in Belfast last weekend. But Gaga snubbed the chance, deciding to focus on new single Marry The Night at the ceremony. But it sounds like that union could happen at some point. “Gaga has a huge amount of respect for Queen and would love to do it one day,” says my source. “It just wasn’t right for this particular night.” I’m glad – Adam Lambert nailed it!

Meanwhile, dinner was had this week with American Idol runner-up Adam at Soho’s Zilli Fish. Adam’s on great form right now preparing to release his second album next year. Adam told me: “Single will be early next year and I’ve been working with some amazing people. Sam Sparro has worked with me on a few tracks. I’ve literally just played to album to the execs in London. It went down well.” He’s looking healthy these days and has lost lots of weight thanks to a better diet (no carbs whatsoever). He’s also happy in love too – he is deliriously happy settled down with new man Sauli Koskinen. Good for him.

Louie Spence did make me chuckle at this week’s Christmas with Loose Women DVD launch. He told me there wasn’t a hope in hell of him entering the I’m A Celeb jungle as was rumoured. “Darling, I’ve got every phobia under the sun,” he laughed at the Met Bar. “To begin with flying to Australia would have been a problem. But when you add spiders, snakes and critters into the mix it’s a definite no.” I hear you, Lou!

Arlene Phillips (above with me) was on top form at the launch of her new book Dance to the Musicals this week. She has the pertest derriere I’ve ever seen – and truly incredible for a 68 year old. I couldn’t take my eyes off it! Stars including Kate Walsh, Jason Gardiner and Lesley Joseph showed up for support. The books hilarious and has a DVD to teach you the best musical dance moves. I know what I’m doing this weekend….

This week Company Magazine held their High Street Fashion Awards and stars including Pixie Lott, Caroline Flack (above) and Jameela Jamil all turned out. Pixie Lott (looking cute below) was celebrating bit style after winning an award for her Lipsy collaboration – beating Kate Moss and Topshop to the prize. I’m told Pixie brought her boyfriend Oliver Cheshire along with lots of family members and they all ended up going for a celebratory pizza after the bash. Cute.

The celebs came out to play at the Rayban Raw Sounds party this week Jaime Winstone was knocking back the free cocktails, while Sadie Frost was hanging out with her new man friend Kristian Evans! But the surprise guest of the evening was Kate Moss’ new hubby Jamie Hince who arrived (and left) with Pixie Geldof. Get them.