She’s famous for her big mouth, her big nights out and generally being a very naughty girl.
But pregnant pop star Lily Allen has turned over a new leaf… and is loving being good.
“I’m enjoying procreating,” giggles the Smile singer. “I’m not missing smoking, drinking and going out. It’s made me realise a lot about some people I used to hang out with.
“I still have to be around some of them when they’re drunk and I’m like, ‘Is that what we’re like?’ Being sober has opened my eyes a lot.”
And there’s another bonus to ­impending motherhood. Lily, who has yo-yo dieted for years, is loving her fuller figure.
“My boobs are incredible. I’m a 34D now. I’ve never had that size before,” she laughs, cupping her cleavage.
“I’m actually really excited now I actually look pregnant. It’s making it all the more real. My body’s changing all the time and I’ve got to just ­embrace it. I’m growing all over. I’ve been wearing sexy maternity tights. I’m so glamorous it’s unreal!”
Lily, who miscarried when dating Chemical Brothers star Ed Simons, is thrilled she has found the right ­partner in builder Sam Cooper, 32. “The truth is I can’t wait,” she says. “Being a mother is something I’ve wanted for a very long time.”
But Lily has changed in more than one way. With her music career on hold, her latest venture is a vintage clothing store called Lucy In Disguise which she’s opened with her sister Sarah Owen in London’s Covent ­Garden.
And she’s incredibly proud of the shop, which even has a PlayStation Move area for the guys.
“Sarah and I have always loved dressing up,” she says. “And I decided I wasn’t going to make ­another album or tour in November and decided to throw myself into this.
“Truth be known, I wanted to settle down and have kids. But I’m not ­retiring from music like people are saying. I’ll still write for other people and I’ll be back I’m sure.”
I’ve known Lily for a good few years now and I’ve never seen her happier… or calmer. One year at the GQ Awards a wasted Lil’ told me to “F**k myself” when I approached her. She’s always had a way with words.
But now she couldn’t be further from the attention-seeking brat of yesteryear. Not only are her boozing days behind her, she also thinks before she speaks.
She explains: “I think I have grown up. I was 18 when I started in this game and at that age you are lippy and mouthy and I was in the public eye doing it. Now I’m 25 and I can’t really get away with that ­any more. People would just say I’m a dick if I did.”
Lily’s mouth has often got her into trouble. She’s had a war of words with X Factor judge Cheryl Cole for years since branding her a “stupid bitch” in 2007. Cheryl retaliated by labelling Lily a “chick with a d**k”. She also landed ­herself in hot water with a comment about the Beckhams last year when she branded the couple “sickening”.
Part of the reason Lily, who is ­believed to have recently paid £3million for a Cotswolds country pile, has settled is due to her ­contentment in her relationship with Sam.
The pair started dating last summer after being friends for years and she is smitten. But wedding bells aren’t on the horizon yet.
Lily laughs: “It’s not down to me. Of course I want to get married to Sam. But I certainly won’t be getting ­married while I’m pregnant.
“There’s no way. I’ll need at least a year and a bit. But who knows, I want more kids so I could be pregnant again by then. Then I’ll need at least four years. It’s not an urgent thing – but one day a wedding would be great.”
And she has no intention of forcing herself through a keep fit regime to get rid of her baby bulge after the birth.
“I won’t be one of those ­celebrities that pop a baby out and four weeks later I’m back to normal,” she says. “I’ll disappear into my country house… and be hidden from view for as long as I can.”
Don’t stay in hiding too long, Lil!

*Lucy In Disguise is at 10 King Street, Covent Garden, London. www.lucyindisguiselondon.com

*To be given a private interview with Vanilla Ice in 1990 would have been a dream come true for any lad. Now, it’s still cool – see, erm, above. You have to remember he did sell upwards of 10 million albums back then! I met up with the Iceman in the swanky PlayStation 3 SingStar area at Bestival and we couldn’t help but talk about his infamous Madonna moment when he hitch hiked naked with her in pictures that went on to be documented in her Sex book. He told me: “Those days were crazy. I didn’t want to end up in some slutty little book and she never asked my permission to do that. She must regret that entire phase of her life so much now. Imagine her sitting around with her kids and saying: “Look, mummy was a slut.” It’s not cool at all. They were taken back in the crazy days.” The star also told me he never ever gets bored of singing his huge hit Ice, Ice, Baby. “I’ll still be doing that song until I’m in my seventies,” he laughed. “I never get bored of it. It has a life of its own and made my name. I owe a lot to it.” And a little birdie tells me Vanilla is a DEFINITE for this years Dancing On Ice too. Ice on Ice – sounds like TV gold to me!

*La Roux singer Ellie Jackson’s ‘There’s something about Mary’ days are numbered! The star tells me she’s gagging to chop her famous quiff off – but she’s not allowed to!
Until the artist has had a fair chance at conquering America she says her record company have banned the quiff from going. “It’s about being a brand and being recognisible out there,” she told me in the PlayStation 3 SingStar backstage area at Bestival. “So for three months or so I’m not allowed to get rid of it and I’m desperate too. I’ve taken to slicking it back now and I don’t wear it up. But when I’m in America it has to be up and proud.”
And it sounds like Ellie has an amazing chance of breaking the States – she’s just managed to get Kanye West to rap on her song In For The Kill for release in the States. She added: “I went out to the States to shoot the video last week. It was great working with him and it’s a thrill to know that he likes what we’ve been doing.”  Good luck Els!

*TV gal Caroline Flack is one extremely well behaved girl when she’s at a festival! The stars been put on a exercise and keep fit plan by a personal trainer and refused to drink a drop of alcohol. A source said: “She was in the PlayStation 3 SingStar area and was larging it to Vanilla Ice on nothing except water and her spirit. She is serious about getting fit before she goes to the jungle to shoot I’m a Celebrity for ITV2 and that means no booze.” Anyone would think she was going into the jungle with all
this healthy living!

*Rolf Harris kept punters on the ferry across to the Isle of Wight entertained! The legendary entertainer sang his hit Two Little Boys over the speakers for the crowded boat. Class! Meanwhile my favourite acts of Bestival were Hurts (obviously), Hot
Chip and DJ Jaguar Skills. It’s such an amazing festival and the founder Rob da Bank should be very proud of himself!

*Sad news for Girls Aloud fans – it appears the band’s lead singer Nadine Coyle has ended that chapter in her life.
I hear the star is now affectionately referring to her time in the band as “the past” and has vowed never to perform as part of the chart topping five-some again. My source reveals: “Nadine’s moved on with her life in many ways. She loved her time there but feels lately things have changed dramatically. She’s not intending on performing with them again and has told her pals that she’s no longer part of the band.
“She always says when I ‘was’ performing with band and when I ‘was’ part of the band. It really is like a new chapter in her life is beginning now with her solo career.”
But the Girls Aloud future looked even bleaker last week when Cheryl Cole was quoted saying she wouldn’t be back with the girls for another year at least while she promotes her new album.
My sources say relations between Nadine and the girls has been far from happy over the past few months. “They are not in touch at all,” adds my mole. “Nadine swears she’s tried to get in touch with them all but not heard anything back. It’s like they’ve turned their back on her. It’s reached a natural end when it comes to Nadine being in the band. She’ll never forget the experience of being part of pop history but she has to make her solo career work now. That’s the priority.
“She knows the girls have not been a support to her of late – not even congratulating her on the new single. And that just shows how far they’ve grown apart. With the amount of animosity they have against her now it would be physically impossible for them to regroup.”
And if the fantastic new tracks that I’ve heard this week are anything to go by then she’s onto a real winner. It’s pure pop at it’s best and her voice has never sounded better.
As I revealed a few weeks back, Nadine’s bringing out her new album exclusively through Tesco under her own record label Black Pen. And yesterday Nadine was making a big start on her solo career and shooting the video for her debut single Insatiable in LA.
Directed by legendary director Wayne Isham – responsible for all the big 80s rock videos by Bon Jovi, Metalica and the ultimate rock bad boys Motley Crue. A source tells me: “In one of the scenes Nadine will be in a scene with water drizzling down on her – proper rock chick style. It’s going to be quite epic and on a grand scale.”
Nadine herself told me about her future this week too – and she’s clearly excited. Nad said: “I have these visions when I think about being a popstar of watching a Diva’s Live concert in Vegas and seeing women in amazing long gowns singing their hearts out. The light show’s amazing, the band are tight and the backing singers are going crazy. That’s what my dream of being a singer was. It still is! Being able to sing with the full back-up of a live-band songs that every line means the world to you.”
And I say good luck to her! She’ll do just fine without the Girls!

*Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay has been a wee bit quiet of late. But all that’s about to change.
I watched the star perform five new tracks from the bands brand new album Rock Dust Light Star this week. And I have to say it’s a return to form. Jay told me afterwards that he’s spent as much time as possible on this record – four YEARS in fact! “The last thing I wanted was to have a record company grabbing me by the bollocks and telling me what to do,” Jay said. “So we went away and did our thing and it’s really for the fans. I didn’t want it to be about me dancing around on a lit dancefloor again – that’s the past and I was conscious of making a new record but with our classic sound.”
Being the former playboy that he is, we had to talk ladies too. And he says he’s fine and dandy on that front. He said: “I may be 40 now and my body feels that age but fortunately my old boy is still young and ready to go. There are one or two ladies on the scene. But I’m technically single.”
He also spoke out about his former love Denise Van Outen and wished her well after the recent birth of her first daughter Betsy. “I really wish her all the best with her little girl,” he gushed. “I’m so pleased for her and she seems happy. I haven’t seen her for ages but I hope she’s doing good.” Also at he launch was the pretty Pixie Lott…with her man Oliver Cheshire…..

*Jack McManus played a blinding set at the Donna Karan bash. Watched – slightly randomly – by Rugby star Lawrence Dallaglio – he played an acoustic set of tracks from his latest album. His single Heart Attack is out this week. Later in the night he met up with his Activia living girlfriend Martine McCutcheon. Cute couple alert!

*Dionne Bromfield continued to bleat on about her Godmother Amy Winehouse at this week’s Juicy Couture bash for Vogue’s Fashion Night in. But Dionne did let slip that things are far from over with Amy’s latest flame Reg Traviss. Dionne revealed: “Reg is a working man unlike the other one and anything is better than that other one (Blake). He has always been nice to me. I don’t think he’s all he is made out to be. She’s happy with him and the main thing is Amy being happy.”
But it sounds like even Dionne, who’s releasing a new album, is growing towards escaping being associated with Amy these days. She added: “I want to step away from being known as Amy’s goddaughter. I’m seeing it as my first album as it’s all new material. Amy has helped me co-write and produce several of the songs.”

*Sinitta sounds like she may be one of the only people to hen peck Simon Cowell. Speaking about her, erm, adventurous fashion sense at The Garden Party in the grounds of Clarence House this week she told me: “Back in the eighties Simon used to be appalled by my style – like when I wore three Speedo swimsuits twisted around in my Cross My Broken Heart video – but I told him to either give me money to shop for better outfits or put up with it.”
But it sounds like she’s only just about being looked after by Mr Moneybags nowadays. She giggled: “I really want a crocodile Birkin bag and saw an old lady walking down the street with one on her arm when I was in Italy recently. I was with Simon and told him to go and offer her some money for it. But he wouldn’t. It’s probably only an old bag for that lady.”

*Fashion Week kicks off this week coming in London and I’ll be popping to some of the biggest shows and parties throughout the week. But ahead of the big week I met up with Lily Allen and her sister Sarah Owen as they launched their pop-up Lucy In Disguise shop in the Selfridges Wonder Rooms this week. The girls open their flagship vintage store in Covent Garden next week with a star-studded bash. And Lily sound proud of the work she’s put into the brand so far. She told me: “Everyone’s critical of me right now but so far I’m getting a good response. This is something we have worked hard on and we’re extremely happy with the final product and looking forward to people being able to buy it.”
The star was still reeling from the night before at the GQ Awards when David Cameron pranced up on stage. She tweeted her disgust at the PM winning the Politician of the Year during the show and told me: “When they said the award coming up was Politician I looked over and saw Cameron and thought: “Dear God, no way.” There’s something very wrong if he’s considered politician of the year. It was so embarrassing.” Guess she’s not voting Conservative then!
Lily also told me she was struggling with her pregnancy wear with fashion week approaching. “I’ve got pregnancy spanks on right now and they’re cutting in,” she giggled. “I didn’t want to go commando because I didn’t think it was appropriate to be pregnant and knickerless. I’m fine with the pregnancy though and I’m not as ill now. I just can’t wait for my bump to pop out at the moment I’m in the inbetween phase where it could just be a belly.” You’re blooming, Lil!

*Congratulations to Miss Alexandra Burke on another number one record with her new single Start Without You. She was also celebrating on being nominated for Best UK Act at this year’s Mobo Awards. I caught up with her at the nominations launch and we talked about whether she’d be going naked anytime soon in a magazine. She said: “I wouldn’t want to do a naked shoot. When I did Wonderland magazine I was very cheeky and closed the set and then did a topless shot which me holding myself. But that’s as far as I would go and it was spur of the moment and I was high on Red Bull and so happy to be doing first fashion shoot.
“Playboy isn’t for me and I don’t think you lot would be proud of me would you? An arty shoot wouldn’t be bad I guess. But I don’t know if I am brave enough. I’ve had no offers.” Over to you Mr Hefner!

*Whoa there Reggie Yates. He reckons Cher from last week’s X Factor is the one to watch. He even boldly says she’s better than Cheryl Cole! Speaking at the Mobo launch he said: “I’m talking about who everyone else is talking about on X Factor – Cher Lloyd. She is incredible. She is like another Cheryl Cole but with a better voice. She’s amazing and beautiful and I’m excited to see how well she does.” Calm down dear.

*Oh Lord, Eva Longoria needs to wisen up to UK celebrity knowledge if you ask me. The poor love, over here to promote her new fragrance Eva by Eva Longoria available at The Perfume Shop, doesn’t know who Cheryl Cole is or what the X Factor is! The Desperate Housewives star told me: “No I am not aware of Cheryl Cole. Oh, is she a big celebrity here? Is she is a singer? I’ve never heard of Girls Aloud. Did Jessie date someone from that show? I’m not in the know. The stunning actress made a fleeting visit to London last week and told me she couldn’t stay and play for more than one night because of her filming commitments on the 7th series of the show that made her famous. “We are currently shooting series 7 of Desperate Housewives and I can’t believe it has been seven years,” she said. “Vanessa Williams is now on set. She plays a frenemy of Lynette’s and comes into the mix and makes some trouble. Brian Austin Green also joins the show and will have a storyline with Marcia Cross and she will be having a cougar-esque storyline.”
Eva, married to American football star Tony Parker, also tells me she’s preparing to enter to world of fashion – just like her best friend Victoria Beckham. She revealed: “We are actually in development and in talks about doing a clothing line now. It will be fun to wear my own dresses. Yes, I will give some to Victoria and she’ll be there if I need advice. We are still in the beginning stages. We are developing it now but it will definitely be a reflection of my style.”

ALL THE GOSSIP FROM THE TV CHOICE AWARDS…….

*Sitting next to Pineapple Dance Studios star Louie Spence (above with me) over dinner is a right proper experience. I joined LouLou at the TV Choice Awards earlier this week and it was a laugh a minute.
Funniest moment of the night was when a WOMAN started heavily flirting with him at the champagne reception and he rolled his eyes and said: “The only way you’re going to turn me love, is by growing a gigantic c**k!” And flounced off!!
Meanwhile Louie tells me he’s getting near to completing the next series of Pineapple – but he’s not sure about a third. “I’m just not sure whether it would be worth doing another,” he said. “You want to go out on a high and I was a little surprised we did a second if I’m honest but it’s working well. I did have offers on the table to do my own thing – but I’m loyal and that’s an important quality to have. Pineapple has been my life for so many years. I’m not just turning my back on Debbie and the guys.”

*Gino DiAcampo sounds like he’s working on a saucy new show. He said: “I’m working on a new show at the moment called Surprise Your Wife but don’t worry, it’s not porn! If I ever want to surprise my wife, I cook her eggs on toast without any clothes on.” Sunny side up, no doubt.

*Birds of a Feather star Pauline Quirke won my award for most trashed at the TV Choice Awards. The poor love was mute when I saw her being cuddled and kept upright by Keith Lemon. Meanwhile Richard Arnold of GMTV (RIP) fame propped the bar up at the after party with the immaculately dressed Danielle Linekar.

*Kerry Katona may have celebrated her 30th birthday with her pals the weekend before but she seemed a little down in the dumps at the TV Choice Awards. She just has such sad eyes nowadays. Like somebody that watched Marley and Me on repeat. Anyway, Kerry insisted she was having fun at the bash and told me: “It’s not a bad way to celebrate my 30th. I’m all dressed up, I’m single and my kids are all healthy. That’s all that matters. I’ve got used to living down south now and there’s lots of exciting things coming up.”

All the gossip from the GQ Men of The Year Awards…….

*Gemma Arterton is the lady of the moment and picked up this year’s GQ Woman of the Year award at the fashion bible’s event. The actress, who can be seen in this week’s new release Tamara Drewe, tells me her style is far from down to her. She revealed: “I’ve taken on a new stylist recently and it’s all down to her. I’m utterly hopeless when it comes to fashion. I don’t know what to wear or how to wear it and I needed to get some help. I’ve started to appreciate fashion a lot more – something that I never used to do.”
The star told me she’s had a great year after getting married to Stefano Catelli and is looking forward to getting back to basics after months of back to back films. She added: “I’m about to go back and do a play. I’m not a Hollywood girl at heart – I’ll always want to stay with my feet firmly on the ground and doing a play helps an awful lot.”

*Alexa Chung (above with me) managed to upstage every other star with her outstanding couture Valentino two-piece dress and Chanel shoes. But the star is taking another foray into becoming a designer of her own clothes! She tells me: “It’s exciting for me right now. I’ve got my range in Madewell coming out in New York next week. It’s only available over there for now – but hopefully it’ll come over her after.”

*Cheeky chappy Dominic Cooper is a funny one. His favourite part of starring in new flick Tamara Drewe was starring at co-star Gemma Arterton bouncing around in teeny jean hotpants. He old me at GQ: “Gemma looked hot in the hotpants!  It’s every guys dream to see a girl walking through the countryside in denim hotpants!” Really!?
Anyway, Dom also reveals he’s a metrosexual – he loves to wear guyliner! “I do wear guyliner in the movie,” he added. “I find it so funny that everyone asks me about the guyliner – I didn’t think twice about it and I loved it – it brings out the eyes darling!! Strangely enough maybe I didn’t wash it off at the end of the day.” Not so strange, Dom!

*Ah bless – Daisy Lowe said her mum Pearl was her “ultimate inspiration” at the awards. She said: “My mum is cool, I mean really cool. She a beautiful green goddess. I want to look that amazing when I’m her age.”
But it sounds like her Doctor Who star boyfriend Matt Smith is another inspiration for hr. She burst out laughing after telling me: “I’m rushing Matt home now for some down time!” Saucy minx!

*Hayley Atwell is on the fast track to becoming an A-Lister in the acting world. The actress has signed a three-picture deal to be the female lead in captain America opposite US actor Chris Evans. Hayley told me: “It’s quite a lot of pressure when you know something is a franchise and you don’t want to ruin things. But it’s been a blast filming with Chris, Samuel L. Jackson and Stanley Tucci are in it too. It’s a big budget action adventure. Something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” I’m genuinely thrilled for this girl – she’s a bright new star!

Shhhh
WHICH action hero isn’t quite as straight as he makes out. He’s known to have bonked a number of male waiters in LA at late night parties in Hollywood. What would his missus say?!

Irritant
Lauryn Hill
This woman was one of the most incredible talents but like so many before her she’s peeing it away on booze and God knows what else. Clown make-up, crazy outfits and barely able to string a song together for years – this is one talented woman that I fear we’ve lost forever.

*I joined Peaches Geldof and her Hollywood producer/director boyfriend Eli Roth at the screening of his movie The Last Exorcism. Gone was the goth and in was the Dolce and Gabbana threads. So let’s start with her weight and the pregnancy rumours. “I just put on weight,” she laughed, “and people were calling me fat. I wasn’t fat – but I’ve lost a stone doing a juicing diet. I’ve barely been on solids and I’m not drinking alcohol at all. I saw pictures of myself and didn’t like what I saw. If I put weight on it goes on my face and my tummy and everyone says I’m pregnant.”
Peaches also talked about these continual wedding rumours – she was spotted with a ring on her engagement finger this week. She laughed: “The ring is a gift from my friend Niko – he’s gay and lives with me in LA. He gave it to me for our “en-gay-gement”.
Peaches is jetting back to the States this week after a successful few days filming a pilot for ITV2. It’s a youth take on the Jeremy Kyle Show where she’ll be joined by Graham Stanier - Jeremy’s in-show psychotherapist. She’s one busy girl!
Make sure you catch The Last Exorcism at the flicks. I’m a complete pussy when it comes to scary movies – and this reached my fright limit. And I loved every minute!

*I’m looking forward to having P Diddy back in the mix and performing his new music. The star’s set a date to make his first performance in the UK in five years and will headline with his new collective Dirty-Diddy Money with MTV on September 29 in Glasgow. Bring. It.

*Former Busted star Matt Willis tells me he’s on a two-year tattoo ban from wife Emma. The star, who starts in Flashdance the musical in a matter of weeks, tells me: “She’s banned me from anymore for two years. I’ve got both arms and part of my back covered now. So she says I’m hooked and need to calm it.” Emma knows best, Matt. Always!

*If there’s one album you buy this week then make it Happiness by Hurts. I’ve supported Theo and Adam since day one and this week popped down to see them perform tracks from the new album in a celebrity filled audience. Boy George raved to me: “They’re f***ing amazing. I really think they’re like the new Scott Walker. It’s refreshing to have a band like them out there.”
I took along Grace Woodward from Britain’s Next Top Model (we’re above with the band) as my date and she was blown away by the boys too. “They know how to dress too,” she squealed as they came on stage. Indeed they do – even Hugo Boss wants a piece of the action and sent singer Theo his suit for the show. Go and spread a little Happiness!

*Pint-sized pop princess Kylie Minogue has knocked the charts into shape with her latest album Aphrodite. And as well as planning a European tour my spies tell me she’s hatching HUGE plans to tour Stateside next year. My insiders tell me that her US tour will be an all-out effort for her to finally break America and will overshadow the production on her last X tour, which was her biggest and most expensive tour to date. “It will be a big push for Aphrodite with William Baker currently brainstorming different ideas and aesthetics,” says my mole. “It’s going to be completely over the top – just the way the American’s like it! The plan is to put Lady Gaga’s last tour to shame. It’s a full on assault.” Another plan in the works is to have several guest appearances throughout the dates. Names in the frame include various members of Scissor Sisters, Madonna’s former producer Stuart Price and ABBA’s Benny Andersson. And Kyle’s has already been getting cosy out in the US. Last week the star performed a blissful set with Rufus Wainwright before hanging out in the Hamptons and dining with Mark Jacob’s ex Lorenzo Martone.

*I thought Beverley Knight had been a tad quite recently on Twitter and now I know why.
The singer, who performs at the Pinktober Women of Rock concert at London’s 02 Arena on October 5, has been scared off tweeting by a pair of creepy female fans.
She told me: “I had two women constantly tweeting me things and I could tell something wasn’t quite right.
“I then found out they’d been contacting my friends and family through Facebook. They’d message them saying they needed to come round to my house to see me and to cook me dinner.
“I’ve never had anything like that before and it did scare me because after Leona Lewis got punched by that mad man you just don’t know. My management are aware of it but I won’t be like Beyonce and beef up my security.” I would!

*Tom Cruise and David Beckham’s little boys club continues to gather pace – now they’re riding their big manly bikes together.
A party-goer at Soho House in LA this week rang to tell me Tom and David both pitched up on their motorcycles for cocktails and nibbles at the exclusive member’s club on Tuesday night. Seconds later Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes arrived in a car to join their hubbies.
I hear David is also pushing ahead with his plans to go into business with Gordon Ramsay and the pair are searching for a venue to open their ‘British pub’ in LA. A source said: “They’re looking around West Hollywood but have yet to find a property that works.”

*It sounds like the prosthetic nose that Gemma Arterton was forced to wear while shooting new movie Tamara Drew was a right turn off for new hubby Stefano Catelli. Gemma reveals: “I had a dodgy wig and a nose in this movie and it totally transformed my face!  It didn’t look anything like me.” I have kept the nose in my bathroom – it’s in a frame!  Next to a picture of me wearing the nose and I love it when people come round and see it and shout: “Is that you’?!” I saved pictures on my phone of me with the nose and sent them to my husband – he hated it!
“He was like: “Please stop sending them,  I now have a mental image of you with that nose and I can’t get rid of it’!!” Luckily he didn’t come on set and so didn’t see it in real life – I think it would’ve made kissing him a nightmare!” Indeed.

Shhh
WHICH star is claiming her fabulous new body is all down to diet and fitness when it’s in fact down to surgery on a large scale. This singer has had ample liposuction and a nose job. LIAR!

Irritant
Jason Gardiner
Everything about Jason seems to irritate me of late. His shiny face, his ridiculous teeth, the fact he’s suddenly a TV stylist (when his fashion sense is beyond questionable) and the fact he keeps tweeting about being on an endless holidays (OK, I’m jealous). Come back down to earth darling, it’s pretty nice down here with us mere mortals.

*JLS star Marvin Humes may embrace his inner metrosexual by preening his hair to perfection and wearing cleavage-flashing tops but luckily he hasn’t succumbed to borrowing his girlfriend Rochelle Wiseman’s razor.
Roch told me: “I can’t imagine even walking in to see Marvin in the bath and catching him using my razor. That would be so wrong and I would hate it. He’s not a hairy person – I’m hairier than he is! But I swear on my life he doesn’t wax his chest.” I believer you, thousands wouldn’t!

*I like a boyband with something to say for themselves so step forward The Wanted who have blasted the new series of X Factor for their autotune saga.
Member Jay McGuiness told me at Orange Monkey’s HQ: “It was completely out of order and what’s the point of it being a talent show? It’s only OK when it’s used as a tool and not as a mask. Jason Derulo’s a prime example of making it sound amazing.”

*Janet Jackson is on a mission to let us all know that she’s secretly amazing in the kitchen! She fumed: “No one ever thinks that I can cook. In fact they don’t think that any of the girls in our family cook – but we do!  People think I’m the type to have a chef and go shopping all the time – but I don’t like to shop. I do cook and I love to cook soul food. But I don’t wanna say that because everyone knows how bad for you it is! But man, I love it.” You stay happy and stick to that chicken, Janet!

*Salma Hayek sounds like she’s struggling to appear all mother superior to her three-year-old Valentina. She tells me: “I live half the year in France and my French is so bad – it’s really pitiful! It’s so embarrassing because my daughter who’s only just three can speak 3 languages – and she has to translate for me!
“Sometimes she doesn’t want to. I ask her what did they say and she says find out for yourself Mummy, and I ask her to say something for me and again – tell them yourself Mummy!”
The star has a refreshing take on twitter too – she thinks it sucks! “I can’t understand why people want to Tweet or Twitter or what ever it’s called,” she said. “What a waste of your life.  I don’t even email let alone do that, I don’t even text. I am a great believe in being present – so when I with you I am totally with you and I’m not busy texting or tweeting other people!” On that note don’t forget to follow me on twitter people. I’m @deanpiper

*Dougie Poynter and The Saturdays’ Frankie Sandford aren’t exactly pop’s next hellraisers when it comes to their boozing. Dougie told me this week: “I can drink a hell of a lot more than Frankie. Her limit is two glasses of rose and then she’s hammered. I’m everyone’s best mate after four glasses. I’m only small though as I have the body of a six year old boy.”
So much for Frankie being a Party Girl! I’m not convinced on her blonde locks since returning from LA but ever the gent Doug says he’ll love her whatever her hairstyle. “I think Frankie was going for the Dougie Poynter look with her new hair,” he added. “Even if she did a Britney or had a mohawk I would still love her.” Cute!
Luckily bandmate Tom Fletcher, who with the boys release new single Party Girl this week, is helping the boys live up to a more rock n’ roll reputation by visiting strip-clubs and experimenting with, erm, make-up. Ooh-er. He revealed: “Our producer Dallas Austin took us to a strip club in Atlanta. It was my first experience and quite an eye-opener. I learnt that you aren’t allowed to take photos in strip clubs.
“I also learnt not to wear lipstick with guyliner. Dougie used to wear it on his eyes and I tried it but it didn’t suit me – I looked like a very strange drag queen.”

*I’ve been impressed to see lately how Ricky Gervais has ditched the moobs and beer belly for a new super-trim Hollywood physique.
But unlike some La La Land based celebs, don’t expect the results to have come from a strict diet of carrot juice or lettuce leaves because the British funny man has only just discovered vegetables!
His comedy pal Stephen Merchant revealed to Shortlist: “Ricky’s nearly 50 and he told me the other day, as a massive revelation: “I’ve just started eating vegetables. They’re quite good, aren’t they?”
“I was like: “Yeah, they help keep you alive.”
“I’ve sat down with him in a restaurant and there’s nothing on the menu he could eat, so we had to leave. It’s not like it’s live grubs – we’re talking Italian. He’s got a very mundane palette.”

*If you see a pretty lady in a large mac and sunnies peering around corners in the hotel lobby, don’t be alarmed as it’s probably just American superstar Katy Perry.
The singer revealed to Radio 1′s Scott Mills that the latest false name she’s checking into hotel rooms with is one that’s been shaken and not stirred.
She said: “I gave my false name away last week so then I had to change it. Now I’m under something very James Bond-esque. It’s not Pussy Galore though – you would imagine someone would really spot that one.
“I’m so James Bond I’m not going to give you the true hint. My last one was Jerry Blank from Strangers With Candy, which was a fantastic TV show and then I wanted to be Lisa Frank like the stationary because she had unicorns and rainbows.”

*I caught hot new singer Mike Posner in action this week. Think Jason Mraz meets Taio Cruz. And the American star is already a hit with one of my favourite British acts, Florence & The Machine. I hear that Flo has asked Mike to remix some of her tunes to target her American audience. Get in.

New breakfast host Christine Bleakley has said her 4am starts are not going to compromise her relationship with footballer Frank Lampard.
Christine, 31, who’s been dating the Chelsea midfielder since October last year, revealed: “I’m still going to be having date nights and my nights out – don’t you worry. Frank’s very excited about the whole thing. He really is. I’m going to send him a questionnaire at 8.30am every morning to make sure he’s been watching.
“He gets up early anyway for training anyway – I’ll have to creep out and try not to wake him I guess. He’s very supportive and he’s going to come in to the studios to support me next week too.”
Former One Show host Christine starts tomorrow alongside Adrian Chiles on ITV1′s GMTV replacement show Daybreak but remains adamant that her social life will not be axed due to the early mornings.
“I’ll be up before 4am every day of the week and for me ignorance has been bliss during the past couple of weeks,” said the star. “That’s the way I’m approaching it. A lot of people are saying you should attempt getting up a couple of weeks beforehand and get used to it. But I’ve just thought: “I just want two more weeks of normality.”
“I’m relatively selfish with my time and I can just worry about myself without kids and go home and sleep. At this stage that is the case. Ask in a month’s time and I may not be as positive.
“I love my evenings out and I would start to go insane if I didn’t have my nights. So in my head this is the plan – we get up at 4am or whatever, go home at 10am, have a siesta and be in bed by 10.30pm. I have no idea how it’s going to play out.”
Speak ahead of Daybreak’s launch Christine also took time to discuss her controversial leaving of BBC show The One Show.
The star, who also ditched her then agent John Noel by text after she quit the BBC show, claims she would still be at the BBC had her on-screen partner Adrian not had left the channel for Daybreak. She said: “I have no regrets about my decision to leave the BBC. I knew the second Adrian left that the show wasn’t the same for me anymore.
“There’s been a lot of talk and I’ve remained as silent and as dignified as I can over it all. Lots of people wanted me to speak out but the truth is that when Adrian left it just wasn’t the same for me anymore. That’s it.
“I’m not worried about the door closing with the BBC. I think you follow your heart sometimes. I know people have been trying to make out that it was all about money – but it’s not about money at all. We were very happy where we were. They were the ones who started to mix it up. Not us.”
This week Adrian, 43, blamed the BBC for his departure from The One Show – saying he left as a direct result of the show’s producers plans to bring in Chris Evans to host Friday’s extended hour-long show with Christine.
Adrian, who recently signed a reported £6 million four-year deal with ITV, fumed: “It wasn’t about the money at all. We would have stayed where we were at the BBC for exactly the same money.
“We didn’t want anything changed, didn’t want a different programme, didn’t want anything. They wanted to mess around with that show.
“The issue for me from the beginning was that we had this very successful show Monday to Friday with great ratings. We wanted to take it to greater levels. We piloted the show to be an hour every Friday and they were successful and then all of a sudden it turns out that they want somebody else to do the Fridays instead of me. I couldn’t wear that. I don’t care if people think I’m being a bit starry about it. “It was the fact that Chris Evans was coming in on the Friday. I couldn’t have worked there as a warm up man or a fluffer for the big main event on Friday.” Fair enough, if you ask me!

*Nicholas Hoult is one of my favourite up and coming actors. He’s just landed a rather amazing role in the new X-Men movie playing the young Beast. And at Reading he told me he was getting more than a little bit prepared for the role! “I’m growling in the mirror every morning,” he laughed at Reading. “I’m learning how to kick-ass and channelling my inner Beast wherever I go. I can’t wait to get started.”
And I’m pleased to report the star was beyond down-to-earth at the festival – even snubbing VIP camping to bed down with the mortals. He revealed: “I’m more than happy to camp with the masses – I’m not special. If people get a little lairy then I tell them to f**k off and get on with it. I’m not bothered.” Cool!
And it seemed like Nic had a new little play-thing to keep him warm in the tent too. He spent most of his evening on Friday touching tonsils with a gorgeous petite blonde. Good for him.

*Note to Axl Rose -NEVER mess with a festival crowd. Coming on an hour late the Guns n’ Roses frontman didn’t feel the need to apologise to the crowd. Yes, we all turned out to see you play. But no, we didn’t want to lose an hour of your set because of the curfew of playing live music being reached. If you ask me the set was a let down. Out of sync, out of time, out of luck. Bog off boys!

*Pete Doherty was up to his usual tricks in Leeds when his band The Libertines performed a truly blistering set. It’s great to see the boys back together and ripping it up live.
But backstage Pete was having his usual lady problems. Approached by a girl named ‘Cheryl’ she said: “Since when did you become f***ing famous?” before accusing him of changing and not recognising her. Seconds later she starts crying on him and he’s forced to try and comfort her. Not exactly what you want after you’ve played a blinder.
Anyway, Pete managed to calm her down and it turns out she was a very old school friend of his.  A source tells me: “One minute she was being sweet and tearful and the next she was protective, crying hysterically and wouldn’t let Pete have pictures with any girls in the bar. After about 20 minutes they retreated to his tour bus together.” See – groupies can still get it on with rockers!

*I Blame Coco front lady Coco Sumner is a real talent. Shy and cute in real life but such a powerhouse performer. But don’t be expecting her to perform with her famous dad Sting anytime soon – in fact it will NEVER happen. Coco, who’s fantastic album The Constant is out now, tells me: “It will never happen. He does his thing and I do my thing and it’s separate. And we’ll keep it that way. If I would collaborate with anyone then it would be with Ian Dury or Abba.” Now that I’d like to see.

*In recent years he’s become known for his bordering arrogance, but it seems like the days of James Corden cashing in on his funny fat guy persona are no more.
For I can reveal the Gavin and Stacey star has made the incredible decision to turn down a six-figure golden handcuffs deal with ITV to host a number of shows in favour of getting back to basics with his art – acting!
For the past few weeks James, who will still host another series of his hilarious SKY1 panel sports show A League of Their Own, has been pondering the huge exclusive deal from ITV but according to my moles he’s turned them down. Instead James will be the main attraction in a new version, by Richard Bean, of Carlo Goldoni’s classic farce The Servant To Two Masters next May.
My impeccable source tells me: “For the last few weeks James has told his friends and close colleagues about his ‘career dilemma’. ITV bosses were so pleased with the success of his World Cup show that they have offered him the deal to stay with the channel for at least three years and continue to present shows for them.”
They add: “ITV think they’ve found a new presenting talent – and have been throwing everything at him to stay with them. James has been wrestling with the offer and his conscience. Despite the large sum of money – his first love is and always has been acting. So, after a lot of thinking, he’s turned the offer down in favour of going back to his acting roots. It’s what makes him happier. He’s really chuffed to have been offered the deal and wouldn’t rule out doing stuff for ITV in the future, but he wants to try new acting opportunities.”
And I can reveal one of the first things the Gavin and Stacey star is set to do is once again tread the boards at the National Theatre. My source continues: “James has his heart set on becoming a well respected actor. He wants credibility and for people to not just consider him some funny guy that’s the butt of the joke from time to time.
“There’s talk of another Alan Bennett play being put on and James would love that. He did History Boys at the National and on Broadway afterwards – and although he wasn’t received amazingly well, he was respected for going down that road especially after coming from being a virtual unknown.”
And it’s not just the stage that James is about to make a big impression on – he’s also going to set the silver screen alight with appearances in Gulliver’s Travels and the new Three Musketeers remake opposite Christoph Waltz, Orlando Bloom and Luke Evans.
Well done James – you made the right choice!

*Olly Murs is a lovely chap. He’s working hard and genuinely seems like a jolly nice guy. His new track Please Don’t Let Me Go is out this Monday and he’s hoping for a numero uno. But if things don’t go quite as well he’s willing to go back to being ‘normal’ again. He tells me: “I’m enjoying every day – I want to look back on this year whether things are a huge success or not and think I gave it my best shot and had an experience. I’d like to have a house and a new car and then I’ll be fine. I’m realistic about the industry. I worked in a call centre as a recruitment consultant and worked in a jam factory a couple of days a week. I’m grounded.”
The star spoke out about the auto-tuning controversy that X Factor have experienced this week and he said he’d never seen anything suspect. “I for one didn’t see any auto-tuning going on when I was on the show,” he added. “But I can’t speak for others. I mean, Jedward? Ha.” What could he possibly mean!

Shhh
WHICH star is hiding her secret age. This blonde is actually an incredible 47 despite claiming to be a decade younger. She even has two passports to her lie. Must have a great surgeon….

*Joss Stone has oodles of cash stacked away for a rainy day – so she’s taking an entire year off! I’m told the star, who’s still only 23 years old, is intent on doing up her garden during her time away from the music industry. My source reveals: “Joss has the most incredible house down in Cornwall that she’s done up with beautiful hippy inspired art pieces and stain glass windows – as you would expect. But she’s ready to start work on the garden and has no qualms about taking time out.” Good for her.

*That Usher is a cad. I hear the father-of-two, who releases brill new single DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love this week, has a secret weapon to getting himself some lovely lady bumps – he has a back-up car to pull the ladies in. During the day he’s the image of a perfect father and drives a Mercedes with baby car seats and then at night he brings out a Porsche. A mole tells me: “His day car is covered in baby stuff – Cheerios on the seats, crackers and toys. But he takes the Porsche out in the evening to impress the ladies. He’s a clean freak really and doesn’t want potential lovers to see the mess.” Clever boy.

*Former Sugababe Keisha Buchanan was looking beyond amazing when I bumped into her last week. There’s a new weave, an amazing new figure and a new sense of confidence after being ousted from the band that made her famous. The teeny star tells me being happy following the departure from Sugababes has had a lot to do with it. Keisha revealed: “Yes I’ve been working out and I’m not going home every night and eating a Chinese takeaway. I wasn’t being healthy towards the end of being in the band. I was eating because I was so miserable. I’m happy now and I’m looking after myself.”
The star, who won’t release music until early next year, also set the record straight on whether she’ll be reuniting with her old chums Mutya Buena and Siobhan Donaghy (who famously walked from the band branding Keish and Mut bullies) from the original Sugababes line-up. “I’ve recorded over 30 tracks now so it’s time to whittle them down for the album – and I’m nearly there,” Keisha added. “Mut will probably feature in there somehow and I’ve been hanging out with Siobhan too. Whether we all work together I’m not sure. But we’re very much friends and looking at what we could do. I certainly never thought I’d be in this situation with reuniting with the original girls. But it feels very easy and very natural for me. We’ve grown up a lot since then.” Indeed you have – I’m loving the new fit and fabulous Keisha.

*Adam Garcia is a class act. Not only is he a great judge on Sky1′s dance show Got To Dance he’s also going down a storm in the West End dance show Tap Dogs.
I took the hunky Aussie for a bite to eat last week and he told all about working on the West End and moving on from the cult classic film Coyote Ugly. “It’s been 10 years since the film came out now and people are still coming to see me off the back of that film – which is pretty amazing,” he told me. “This show is an 85 minute sprint and keep me fit. That’s why I’m able to eat what I want and not bother going to the gym.” “The show’s been going for 15 years and I’m in the latest reprisal. Being on the West End is a real thrill.”
But not everything has gone to plan with his fanbase in the UK. “I was outside the other night and this woman came up behind me and full-on goosed me,” he said. “It wasn’t even a laughing matter. I lost my sense of humour and told this woman off. It was beyond rude.”
That it was Adam – but on the plus side at least people still want to goose you!
Catch Adam in Tap Dogs before it finishes next Sunday at the Novello Theatre. Call the box office on 0844-4825170 or log onto www.tapdogs.co.uk.

*Scott Mills is presenting his big ones. No you smutty lot, his new compilation album is called B1G ONES. Featuring every summer hit possible this is the one CD you need following a summer of raving it up in the sun. It features Plan B, Flo Rida, Jason Derulo and Cheryl Cole. Go get it!

*Fancy dressing as Freddie Mercury for a day to help raise money for people living with HIV and AIDS? Well now is your chance.  Next Friday (September 3) thousands up and down the UK will be sponsored to dress as Freddie as part of the Mercury Phoenix Trust’s Freddie For A Day campaign. Get involved yourself and log onto www.mercuryphoenixtrust.com.

*When your hair starts to grow back after alopecia it can have a couple of undesired effects. Just ask Gail Porter. The star told me over coffee at the GMTV studios this week: “My hair grew back and then my eyelashes but I’d completely forgotten about the rest of my body until I took my daughter Honey swimming and realised I had Julia Roberts armpits and God knows what else going on downstairs.” The stars currently planning her 40th birthday celebrations for early next year. “It’s going to be huge,” Gail said. I don’t doubt her.

*Drew Barrymore told me about her best buddy Cameron Diaz last week when she was in town to promote her flick Going The Distance. And it would seem the pair have rather bizarre nicknames for each other. Drew laughed: “Ah, my poo poo! That’s our nicknames for each other poo and poo poo!! We just spent the last few months together hanging out rooming, we are roomies! We have so much fun together we both have the same outlook on life – I guess we basically don’t take it too seriously!”
She also told me she’s gagging to do another Charlie’s Angels film with Cam and Lucy Liu. “I would do another Charlie’s Angels in a shot,” she said. “I would do it until we had to do it in wheelchairs – Charlie’s Angels, the senior years. But the stars will have to be aligned in the right place! The thing is although the movies are really fun, they take a lot of work so I don’t know when we’ll work it out but anytime soon I am up for it!”

*Girls Aloud star Sarah Harding says she has hung up her party shoes once again. The star told me last week: “This has been my only day off this week. I’ve been working 6-day weeks for so long. I can’t tell you what I’m doing cause if I talk about it too soon then it won’t be interesting anymore.” Sarah, who these days is forging a career as an actress, insists that days of clubbing all night are behind her. “I was in bed by 9pm on a Saturday night,” she admitted. “My party girl days are far behind me. I’m glad I did it, but I’ve taken all of that stuff and locked it away in a chest. I’m 28! I need to start behaving. When you’re in your early 20s its all about having lots of fun, but I’ve got too much to do now.” Is this the same Sarah Harding you caned it non stop for two weeks in Ibiza just a matter of days ago? Oh yes, it is.

*Denise Van Outen’s little girl Betsy was beyond cute at last week’s V Festival. Suri who?! Anyway, it sounds like Denise is coping just fine with getting back to normal as a new mum. She told me: “It was so much harder than I expected at the beginning but it’s much better now. She’s just the best thing.”
And Den reveals she’s eased back into her size 10 clothes with ease. “I didn’t really do anything but run around after her,” she revealed. “It’s been non stop and I think the adrenaline has worked wonders. I’ve started training for the Inca trail that I’m doing for charity now so that’s getting me very fit. I’m running or hiking pretty much every day. So that will fine tune me.” Indeed!

*Doctor Who star Karen Gillan sounds like she has some rather large ambitions as an actress if you ask me. She revealed: “I’m signed up for the next series of Doctor Who so I have no plans for anything else right now, but I would to get into theatre after this series. I think Lady Macbeth is a character I could really get into – and she’s from Inverness like me.”
Fortunately it sounds as if the quirky star’s new found fame and paparazzi attention is just washing over her like water off a duck’s back. “It doesn’t bother me or change how I dress,” she said. “I’ve always been into fashion so I’m going to wear what I like. And I don’t exercise or diet or anything. I slouch in front of the TV.”

*Rupert Grint is after a role as far away from his Harry Potter role of Ron Weasley as possible after the film franchise finally shuts up shop for good. He said: “I want to play someone psycho and be really mad. I’m trying to line stuff up but for now I want to hang out with my friends.”

*For Madonna remaining youthful and fit despite her forever increasing age is essential.
And I hear the 51-year-old Queen of Pop has started work on the toughest party of her body – those dreaded old lady hands. Yes, the Material Girl is seeking help from her dermatologist Dr. Fredric Brandt to combat her fast emerging Granny hands ¨C and until then she’s doing her utmost to make sure those pesky paws stay covered up from the prying eyes and lenses with gloves and long sleeves.
My mole in the Madonna camp tells me: “She’s managed to work wonders with her face over the past few years thanks to working with Dr. Brandt to get rid of wrinkles but hands have always been the big give away about her age.
“So she’s decided it’s time to make things happen. She’s asked him to try all sorts of revolutionary treatments and procedures and they’ve already started to start treating them. Madonna hates the appearance of her hands and says they are too veiny and “old lady”. In the meantime she’s decided to stay covered up. At least that way she won’t have to see pictures of herself everywhere with aged hands.”
So far Dr. Brandt is talking to Madge about chemical peels, intense sessions of microdermabrasion, injectable fillers and scierotherapy. And according to my sources she’s already had the scierotherapy  – when a solution is injected into an unsightly vein causing them to turn white and gradually disappear – and a round of fillers costing an estimated £2,000. And she’s apparently thrilled with the results. “She’s spent up to four hours a day working out with her pilates trainer Tracey Anderson to make sure she continues to have the body of a person 25 years younger,” adds the source. “But the thing that continually lets her down is her hands. She can’t channel Michael Jackson for the rest of her life and wear gloves everywhere. That’s ridiculous, so she’s taking matters into her own, erm, hands.”
The star hasn’t been photographed for ages with her hands on show. Papped at London’s Heathrow airport at the start of June she sported gloves, at the Lawnfest Fundraiser with Muhammed Al Fayed fundraiser last month she kept her hands in her pocket, at Aura nightclub in the middle of June she had leather mittens on and at Diane Von Furstenberg’s anniversary dinner on June 23 she turned up with ridiculously huge cuffs on a white shirt.
I look forward to seeing the newly rejuvenated Granny hands soon! Over to you, Madge!

*Snoop Dogg held a huge “Welcome Back” to the UK bash at London’s Merah club last night following his performance at the Wireless Festival. Actor Tim Wade hosted the swanky bash and other guests included rap legend Jay-Z. HUGE!

Shhh
WHICH Brit film star needs to remember he’s married with kids? This suave gent was all over a friend of mine this week in Bungalow 8. Naughty!

*Irritant – Big Brother’s Sunshine
This pathetic little try-hard was getting right on my tits this week. So I’m thrilled she was evicted!
She’s the most annoying housemate this year’s series (which, may I add, I love) had to offer. Her “future career” will be nothing more than a has-been TV star that had her 30-seconds of fame. Maybe she could earn a few bob from chopping off that Gwyneth style long hair and selling it to a wig-maker. She’s in Big Brother. She is a fame whore like all the rest of them!

Barclaycard Wireless Unwind Area Gossip…..

*Glee star Cory Monteith was the main attraction at Wireless! He was besieged by fans when he pitched up to the swanky Barclaycard VIP area. And as a true Gleek, I couldn’t resist leaping in for a snap! The star tells me we may be seeing a far more surprising cameo from another big band – Coldplay! “I’d love Coldplay to have a cameo,” he said. “There were talks – at first they didn’t want us to do one of there songs which is understandable because at that time no one knew what Glee was, but thankfully we think they’ve changed their mind.” That will be interesting!

*Prince Harry once again showed face to see Pink rock Hyde Park on Friday evening and I was there to witness the Royal enjoying his evening. But it didn’t all go to plan! I’m told the Royal wanted to meet Pink but he was, er, Royally snubbed! My mole tells me: “Harry was hoping to meet her before she went on but she was too charged and ready to rock to see anyone so he was miffed. Pink doesn’t agree with a few things the Royal family believes in – including their use of Bear fur in the hats of the Queen’s Guard. So she wasn’t interested.”
Harry hung with pals in the Sanctum Hotel VIP Area before being whisked out of the park only an hour into her set. I saw him chatting happily to a gaggle of black ladies before slipping out the back door. Oh the life of a Prince….

*Don’t mess with Darius Danesh at a gig. That’s what I learnt at Barclaycard’s Wireless festival. I stood aghast as the 6ft 4ins hunk and his brother drag two punters out of the crowd in a headlock and deliver them to festival security after an altercation in the crowd watching Pink. Darius told me after: “These two boys urinated into a bottle and threw it and it went up in the air and hit a guy on the head and he fell flat on his face. He was really hurt. That’s no way to behave in a concert. And I don’t put up with that – so I took matters into my own hands.” Too bloomin’ right Dazza! Pee chuckers should be chucked!

Gossip from the O2 Silver Clef Awards in aid of Nordoff Robbins…..

*There was only one person rock God Slash wanted to talk to me about at the O2 Silver Clef Awards to benefit the Nordoff Robbins music therapy charity. And that lucky young lady was Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas. Slash told me the pair have been beavering away on a sexually charged new track for her second solo record. He revealed: ¡°thing about Fergie is when you look at her in the Black Eyed Peas she definitely has a glamorous side but I can see the dark edge and if you pick up on it and if you get to know her she is a rock chick. “She is a little dark. We wrote a song together that’s not on my record but it may be on her solo record and the lyrics are very graphic. Sexually graphic. Her attitude is hard. I have a great imagination so she is not dirtier than I would imagine but she is cool. She has some rock chops all around just lifestyle not just vocal chops. When I got to know her I realised she had been round the block a couple of times.” Eeeew, charming!

*Bless Tony Bennett. I mean, he is 82 years old. Just before meeting Sharon Osbourne an aide had to explain who she was. She said: “It’s Sharon, Tony. Ozzy’s manager and from the television.” He got it just in the nick of time. I met the legend himself and he had some wise words for me. He said: “Listen, it’s not what you get. It’s what you give that makes life a treasure.” Too true, Tony.

*With all these guest judges on the X Factor you have to wonder whether Sharon Osbourne (above with me) would be tempted to make a shock return to cover for her old arch enemy Dannii Minogue. Well, it would appear no amount of cash could persuade her. She told me: “I wouldn’t even do that for £10 million. I’ve moved on in my life. That’s the past and I’m looking towards the future.”

Gossip from the Isle Of MTV in Malta

*She may be one of the most famous women in the UK – but Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears has never heard one of Cheryl Cole’s songs! The star tells me: “I have literally no idea of her music. I’m sure she’s lovely but I’ve never heard a song of hers. I’m sorry – I know people love her. But I’m so deluded. I know she’s the break out success of Girls Aloud.”
Fortunately the frontman made up for his Chezza error by talking about his wild partying in Glastonbury after the band performed last weekend. “How do I manage to not become some sort of clubbing alcoholic drug addict,” he giggled. “You just have to be specific with your partying. We have a schedule and we set a pink X across a day so that we can go out and stay out for 48 hours and go mad. Glasto was our last blow out and we won’t have that again until August. It is important if you don’t schedule that time in. When you don’t schedule things in and you’re out all the time then you are wrong.
“At Glastonbury we partied all day until 9am and went straight on the bus. I slept under a bench for an hour and got straight on the bus.”
Jake also talked about marriage to his partner of six years Chris and said they won’t be progressing to having a civil ceremony. He said: “I don’t think there will be a wedding. Chris would never go for that. He’s too punk to do anything like that. Glastonbury six years ago was our first date. I did ask him to marry me that night on the dance floor. I don’t think we ever will. He thinks marriage for us would be, as he says it’s a really bad look. We might as well be married we have rings.” Aw sweet.

*David Guetta played a storming set at the Isle of MTV and I caught up with the man himself before he played for the 50,000 strong crowd in Valetta.
The French DJ, who’s album One Love is back in the Top Ten Album Charts again, tells me he’s ready to start thinking about working with a brand new vocalist – and this time it’ll raise a few eyebrows. David is desperate to work with Leona Lewis! He tells me: “She’s an amazing talent and incredibly beautiful. I’d love to work with her and see what we could do. There have been initial talks and it looks positive. It would be great to see what we could do together.” This is the best collaboration idea I’ve heard for a long time! Over to you, Leona!

*Kid Rock is hardcore if you ask me. I had drinks with the former hubby of everyone’s favourite peroxide blonde Pamela Anderson and gave up trying to keep up. He drinks three doubles of Jim Beam whisky with a “splash” of coke in a pint glass. He told me: “This is a real drink.” Indeed. Whereas I was suffering with a hangover from hell – Kid was up at the crack of dawn for an early flight!

*Kelis (with me above) was one of the headline acts in Malta and I caught up with the lady herself to talk about wearing fur, her brilliant new album Flesh Tone and Simon Cowell, who she describes as looking “cuddly”.
Kelis was embroiled a big row with animal rights group PETA recently when they called for her to stop wearing fur. The singer furiously struck back at the start of the year saying she wouldn’t be told what she could and couldn’t wear – vowing to continue to wear fur of all kinds. And she sent a clear message to the bunny lovers once again when we met. “My take on Peta is the same as it was before,” she told me. “I wear what I want when I want and I’m not dictated too. My opinion on wearing fur won’t ever change so they need to get used to it.”
She also spoke briefly about how important it is for her to keep her private life, erm, private. It’s no surprise after her messy split with rap superstar hubby Nas - which resulted in the birth of the couple’s cuter than cute son Knight – last year. She told me: “I’ve never courted the celebrity thing. I’m not new to this industry and it serves no purpose as a musician going out on a red carpet to talk about my private life. I mean, I actually do have a job so I don’t feel like I need to go out and share my private life with people. It’s just a distraction. I appreciate being able to be a mother and have a clear distinction between my work and my private life.”

*Brit fashion star Louise Roe continues to make a big splash around the world. She’s become the first Brit to join the cast of MTV’s The City and stars alongside Whitney Port and the gang in the show from this Tuesday.

*Sam Young is my favourite London DJ. He’s at every event worth bothering with – and now he’s taking a step into being a chart star himself. He’s just released Closer Than Close 2010 – a mash-up with 90s star Rosie Gaines. It’s THE single you should be listening to right now – go download it!

*Louie Spence is a serious horndawg sometimes! I here the flamboyant Queen of Pineapple has gone to extraordinary lengths to get closer to T4 host Steve Jones ahead of today’s T4 on the Beach in Weston-Super-Mare. A mole told me: “Louie found out what hotel Steve was staying in and booked in there as a laugh. He loves a bit of Steve! Watch the show on Channel 4 today at 2pm for performances from N-Dubz, Pixie Lott, JLS and Dizzee Rascal.

*My old mucker, gossip blogger Perez Hilton, sure knows how to make an entrance. He turned up donning Elton John ‘tiger’ glasses to catch Pink at Wireless. But he didn’t end up spending much time in the UK at all! Mr Hilton held a glittering One Night Only gig in London featuring Kelis, Peaches, Diana Vickers and The Hoosiers last night and leaves later today! Yikes. Come visit us again soon!

*That Sharon Osbourne is a clever little thing. She’s planned hubby Ozzy’s tour dates around their wedding anniversary celebrations! Ozzy reveals: “Only Sharon could organise a gig in f**king Venice for our anniversary!  Yeah, I’m gonna do a gig under water then we’ll go on one of those boats!”
And it sounds like Aunty Sharon and Uncle Ozzy are desperate for daughter Kelly and her model fiance Luke Worrall to set a date for their nuptials. He revealed: “We don’t know if there’ll be a wedding this year. They are obsessed with each other – you never see them apart! Sharon and me keep asking all the kids when they’re gonna give us Grandchildren – Sharon is desperate for them as you can imagine!
“I’ve already got five from my first marriage and it’s inevitable – you might not want to be called Grandad but it’s gonna happen!” That’s one rock and roll set of grandparents!

*Rejoice! It sounds like funny man Russell Brand is finally going to get rid of that wild bush of a barnet. He reveals: “I will be getting my hair cut very soon. I have to get it cut for the new Arthur movie! It’s going to be a major event and we’ll all go out afterwards to celebrate.” The Get Me To The Greek star also says he’s finally reached his tether when it comes to shopping for clothes in public – he’s bagged himself a stylist! “I have some one who makes me look this good now,” he admits. “I hate shopping. It makes me all nervous and jittery and I always feel like the sales assistants are taking the piss ….so I’ve got a lady that does it for me. It’s simple really. A nice tight pair of jeans, t-shirt with a neck what shows my tits, a scarf or two….and definitely NO baggy jeans!  Makes life much easier.” I bet!

*New Britain’s Next Top Model host Elle MacPherson has had enough of being called The Body! She tells me: “I can’t believe people still call me ‘The Body’. It’s kind of embarrassing now. I mean still now at 46?!! I’m like, come on give me a break. When I was at school I used to be called Elle the Smell….so I guess The Body is an improvement on that.”
She also told me she’s not going to turn into on of these late forty-something pillow faced freaks with help from botox and fillers. She added: “Lets just say I prefer the natural look – natural beauty is far prettier than anything else.  If you try and adjust or add or improve where do you stop? It’s far better to make the most of and enhance what you’ve already got than mess around with Mother Nature.” I agree – and in real life she has a face that actually moves. Shock horror!

*Holly Willoughby sounds quite taken with Eclipse star Robert Pattinson if you ask me. Speaking at this week’s premiere she revealed: “R-Patz is just so handsome, brooding and sexual. I just want to kiss him all the time. The story is kind of like Mills And Boons as all the action happens behind the bedroom door – although I hate to compare it to that.” Indeed, Holly!

*Being a Vampire in a Twilight movie stinks – literally. Just ask Calvin Klein’s latest undies model Kellan Lutz. He told me at the Eclipse premiere: “There was more competition between the girls and the guys to get the better body. I was dragged to yoga as I needed to be flexible and I learnt how to do a headstand. People started passing gas when they started stretching which was quite funny but you aren’t meant to laugh.” Sounds, erm, lovely! NOT!

*Fearne Cotton admitted to being a bit worse for wear after watching Kings of Leon in Hyde Park on Wednesday night. She told me: “I shouldn’t be allowed to go out on a weekday. I drunk a lot of cider and did a lot of jumping around to Kings of Leon. That’s why I can’t wear heels today and stuck the Converse on.” Sensible lady!

*Move over Fabio – Former Destiny’s Child gal Kelly Rowland wants to perfect her ball skills by being the next England manager. Now, I know nowt about football but this sounds amusing.
Kelly told me: “If I was manager I would be like: ‘Bend over son – I want to see that ass’. As England is my spiritual home I was cheering you guys on last Sunday.
“Your technology rules really suck. I felt so sorry for the guy that didn’t get his goal allowed because he had hussled to get that. I’d get the players to completely protest over that.”
“I’m not going to tell you which footballers I have my eye on though because I don’t need their girlfriends coming after me.”
While most drowned their sorrows when our team got given the boot out of the World cup, Kelly was inspired by it. The singer, who’s brilliant track Commander is out this week, invited me down to Radio 1 to watch her Live Lounge performance on Thursday and she was looking super trim.
Knocking back a carrot smoothie she revealed: “I’m actually detoxing right now. When I was watching the game I was eating loads of crap like profiteroles and loads of fried food. So now I’m literally drinking juice 5-6 times which things in it like spinach, broccoli and cucumber.” Miss Rowland, I like how you roll.

With thanks to Jon Furniss and Dave Nelson for Pictures