This week's column – featuring Madonna, Kellan Lutz, Elle Macpherson, Perez Hilton, Glee, Scissor Sisters and Slash!

Posted by Dean Piper On July 4th, 2010

*For Madonna remaining youthful and fit despite her forever increasing age is essential.
And I hear the 51-year-old Queen of Pop has started work on the toughest party of her body – those dreaded old lady hands. Yes, the Material Girl is seeking help from her dermatologist Dr. Fredric Brandt to combat her fast emerging Granny hands ¨C and until then she’s doing her utmost to make sure those pesky paws stay covered up from the prying eyes and lenses with gloves and long sleeves.
My mole in the Madonna camp tells me: “She’s managed to work wonders with her face over the past few years thanks to working with Dr. Brandt to get rid of wrinkles but hands have always been the big give away about her age.
“So she’s decided it’s time to make things happen. She’s asked him to try all sorts of revolutionary treatments and procedures and they’ve already started to start treating them. Madonna hates the appearance of her hands and says they are too veiny and “old lady”. In the meantime she’s decided to stay covered up. At least that way she won’t have to see pictures of herself everywhere with aged hands.”
So far Dr. Brandt is talking to Madge about chemical peels, intense sessions of microdermabrasion, injectable fillers and scierotherapy. And according to my sources she’s already had the scierotherapy  – when a solution is injected into an unsightly vein causing them to turn white and gradually disappear – and a round of fillers costing an estimated £2,000. And she’s apparently thrilled with the results. “She’s spent up to four hours a day working out with her pilates trainer Tracey Anderson to make sure she continues to have the body of a person 25 years younger,” adds the source. “But the thing that continually lets her down is her hands. She can’t channel Michael Jackson for the rest of her life and wear gloves everywhere. That’s ridiculous, so she’s taking matters into her own, erm, hands.”
The star hasn’t been photographed for ages with her hands on show. Papped at London’s Heathrow airport at the start of June she sported gloves, at the Lawnfest Fundraiser with Muhammed Al Fayed fundraiser last month she kept her hands in her pocket, at Aura nightclub in the middle of June she had leather mittens on and at Diane Von Furstenberg’s anniversary dinner on June 23 she turned up with ridiculously huge cuffs on a white shirt.
I look forward to seeing the newly rejuvenated Granny hands soon! Over to you, Madge!

*Snoop Dogg held a huge “Welcome Back” to the UK bash at London’s Merah club last night following his performance at the Wireless Festival. Actor Tim Wade hosted the swanky bash and other guests included rap legend Jay-Z. HUGE!

WHICH Brit film star needs to remember he’s married with kids? This suave gent was all over a friend of mine this week in Bungalow 8. Naughty!

*Irritant – Big Brother’s Sunshine
This pathetic little try-hard was getting right on my tits this week. So I’m thrilled she was evicted!
She’s the most annoying housemate this year’s series (which, may I add, I love) had to offer. Her “future career” will be nothing more than a has-been TV star that had her 30-seconds of fame. Maybe she could earn a few bob from chopping off that Gwyneth style long hair and selling it to a wig-maker. She’s in Big Brother. She is a fame whore like all the rest of them!

Barclaycard Wireless Unwind Area Gossip…..

*Glee star Cory Monteith was the main attraction at Wireless! He was besieged by fans when he pitched up to the swanky Barclaycard VIP area. And as a true Gleek, I couldn’t resist leaping in for a snap! The star tells me we may be seeing a far more surprising cameo from another big band – Coldplay! “I’d love Coldplay to have a cameo,” he said. “There were talks – at first they didn’t want us to do one of there songs which is understandable because at that time no one knew what Glee was, but thankfully we think they’ve changed their mind.” That will be interesting!

*Prince Harry once again showed face to see Pink rock Hyde Park on Friday evening and I was there to witness the Royal enjoying his evening. But it didn’t all go to plan! I’m told the Royal wanted to meet Pink but he was, er, Royally snubbed! My mole tells me: “Harry was hoping to meet her before she went on but she was too charged and ready to rock to see anyone so he was miffed. Pink doesn’t agree with a few things the Royal family believes in – including their use of Bear fur in the hats of the Queen’s Guard. So she wasn’t interested.”
Harry hung with pals in the Sanctum Hotel VIP Area before being whisked out of the park only an hour into her set. I saw him chatting happily to a gaggle of black ladies before slipping out the back door. Oh the life of a Prince….

*Don’t mess with Darius Danesh at a gig. That’s what I learnt at Barclaycard’s Wireless festival. I stood aghast as the 6ft 4ins hunk and his brother drag two punters out of the crowd in a headlock and deliver them to festival security after an altercation in the crowd watching Pink. Darius told me after: “These two boys urinated into a bottle and threw it and it went up in the air and hit a guy on the head and he fell flat on his face. He was really hurt. That’s no way to behave in a concert. And I don’t put up with that – so I took matters into my own hands.” Too bloomin’ right Dazza! Pee chuckers should be chucked!

Gossip from the O2 Silver Clef Awards in aid of Nordoff Robbins…..

The 35th Nordoff Robbins 02 Silver Clef Awards 2010

*There was only one person rock God Slash wanted to talk to me about at the O2 Silver Clef Awards to benefit the Nordoff Robbins music therapy charity. And that lucky young lady was Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas. Slash told me the pair have been beavering away on a sexually charged new track for her second solo record. He revealed: ¡°thing about Fergie is when you look at her in the Black Eyed Peas she definitely has a glamorous side but I can see the dark edge and if you pick up on it and if you get to know her she is a rock chick. “She is a little dark. We wrote a song together that’s not on my record but it may be on her solo record and the lyrics are very graphic. Sexually graphic. Her attitude is hard. I have a great imagination so she is not dirtier than I would imagine but she is cool. She has some rock chops all around just lifestyle not just vocal chops. When I got to know her I realised she had been round the block a couple of times.” Eeeew, charming!

*Bless Tony Bennett. I mean, he is 82 years old. Just before meeting Sharon Osbourne an aide had to explain who she was. She said: “It’s Sharon, Tony. Ozzy’s manager and from the television.” He got it just in the nick of time. I met the legend himself and he had some wise words for me. He said: “Listen, it’s not what you get. It’s what you give that makes life a treasure.” Too true, Tony.

The 35th Nordoff Robbins 02 Silver Clef Awards 2010

*With all these guest judges on the X Factor you have to wonder whether Sharon Osbourne (above with me) would be tempted to make a shock return to cover for her old arch enemy Dannii Minogue. Well, it would appear no amount of cash could persuade her. She told me: “I wouldn’t even do that for £10 million. I’ve moved on in my life. That’s the past and I’m looking towards the future.”

Gossip from the Isle Of MTV in Malta

Isle of mtv gig nelson 6qa

*She may be one of the most famous women in the UK – but Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears has never heard one of Cheryl Cole’s songs! The star tells me: “I have literally no idea of her music. I’m sure she’s lovely but I’ve never heard a song of hers. I’m sorry – I know people love her. But I’m so deluded. I know she’s the break out success of Girls Aloud.”
Fortunately the frontman made up for his Chezza error by talking about his wild partying in Glastonbury after the band performed last weekend. “How do I manage to not become some sort of clubbing alcoholic drug addict,” he giggled. “You just have to be specific with your partying. We have a schedule and we set a pink X across a day so that we can go out and stay out for 48 hours and go mad. Glasto was our last blow out and we won’t have that again until August. It is important if you don’t schedule that time in. When you don’t schedule things in and you’re out all the time then you are wrong.
“At Glastonbury we partied all day until 9am and went straight on the bus. I slept under a bench for an hour and got straight on the bus.”
Jake also talked about marriage to his partner of six years Chris and said they won’t be progressing to having a civil ceremony. He said: “I don’t think there will be a wedding. Chris would never go for that. He’s too punk to do anything like that. Glastonbury six years ago was our first date. I did ask him to marry me that night on the dance floor. I don’t think we ever will. He thinks marriage for us would be, as he says it’s a really bad look. We might as well be married we have rings.” Aw sweet.

Isle mtv gig nelson 1qa
*David Guetta played a storming set at the Isle of MTV and I caught up with the man himself before he played for the 50,000 strong crowd in Valetta.
The French DJ, who’s album One Love is back in the Top Ten Album Charts again, tells me he’s ready to start thinking about working with a brand new vocalist – and this time it’ll raise a few eyebrows. David is desperate to work with Leona Lewis! He tells me: “She’s an amazing talent and incredibly beautiful. I’d love to work with her and see what we could do. There have been initial talks and it looks positive. It would be great to see what we could do together.” This is the best collaboration idea I’ve heard for a long time! Over to you, Leona!

Isle Mtv Gig nelson 4qa
*Kid Rock is hardcore if you ask me. I had drinks with the former hubby of everyone’s favourite peroxide blonde Pamela Anderson and gave up trying to keep up. He drinks three doubles of Jim Beam whisky with a “splash” of coke in a pint glass. He told me: “This is a real drink.” Indeed. Whereas I was suffering with a hangover from hell – Kid was up at the crack of dawn for an early flight!

Isle of mtv gig nelson 2qa

*Kelis (with me above) was one of the headline acts in Malta and I caught up with the lady herself to talk about wearing fur, her brilliant new album Flesh Tone and Simon Cowell, who she describes as looking “cuddly”.
Kelis was embroiled a big row with animal rights group PETA recently when they called for her to stop wearing fur. The singer furiously struck back at the start of the year saying she wouldn’t be told what she could and couldn’t wear – vowing to continue to wear fur of all kinds. And she sent a clear message to the bunny lovers once again when we met. “My take on Peta is the same as it was before,” she told me. “I wear what I want when I want and I’m not dictated too. My opinion on wearing fur won’t ever change so they need to get used to it.”
She also spoke briefly about how important it is for her to keep her private life, erm, private. It’s no surprise after her messy split with rap superstar hubby Nas - which resulted in the birth of the couple’s cuter than cute son Knight – last year. She told me: “I’ve never courted the celebrity thing. I’m not new to this industry and it serves no purpose as a musician going out on a red carpet to talk about my private life. I mean, I actually do have a job so I don’t feel like I need to go out and share my private life with people. It’s just a distraction. I appreciate being able to be a mother and have a clear distinction between my work and my private life.”

*Brit fashion star Louise Roe continues to make a big splash around the world. She’s become the first Brit to join the cast of MTV’s The City and stars alongside Whitney Port and the gang in the show from this Tuesday.

*Sam Young is my favourite London DJ. He’s at every event worth bothering with – and now he’s taking a step into being a chart star himself. He’s just released Closer Than Close 2010 – a mash-up with 90s star Rosie Gaines. It’s THE single you should be listening to right now – go download it!

*Louie Spence is a serious horndawg sometimes! I here the flamboyant Queen of Pineapple has gone to extraordinary lengths to get closer to T4 host Steve Jones ahead of today’s T4 on the Beach in Weston-Super-Mare. A mole told me: “Louie found out what hotel Steve was staying in and booked in there as a laugh. He loves a bit of Steve! Watch the show on Channel 4 today at 2pm for performances from N-Dubz, Pixie Lott, JLS and Dizzee Rascal.

*My old mucker, gossip blogger Perez Hilton, sure knows how to make an entrance. He turned up donning Elton John ‘tiger’ glasses to catch Pink at Wireless. But he didn’t end up spending much time in the UK at all! Mr Hilton held a glittering One Night Only gig in London featuring Kelis, Peaches, Diana Vickers and The Hoosiers last night and leaves later today! Yikes. Come visit us again soon!

*That Sharon Osbourne is a clever little thing. She’s planned hubby Ozzy’s tour dates around their wedding anniversary celebrations! Ozzy reveals: “Only Sharon could organise a gig in f**king Venice for our anniversary!  Yeah, I’m gonna do a gig under water then we’ll go on one of those boats!”
And it sounds like Aunty Sharon and Uncle Ozzy are desperate for daughter Kelly and her model fiance Luke Worrall to set a date for their nuptials. He revealed: “We don’t know if there’ll be a wedding this year. They are obsessed with each other – you never see them apart! Sharon and me keep asking all the kids when they’re gonna give us Grandchildren – Sharon is desperate for them as you can imagine!
“I’ve already got five from my first marriage and it’s inevitable – you might not want to be called Grandad but it’s gonna happen!” That’s one rock and roll set of grandparents!

*Rejoice! It sounds like funny man Russell Brand is finally going to get rid of that wild bush of a barnet. He reveals: “I will be getting my hair cut very soon. I have to get it cut for the new Arthur movie! It’s going to be a major event and we’ll all go out afterwards to celebrate.” The Get Me To The Greek star also says he’s finally reached his tether when it comes to shopping for clothes in public – he’s bagged himself a stylist! “I have some one who makes me look this good now,” he admits. “I hate shopping. It makes me all nervous and jittery and I always feel like the sales assistants are taking the piss ….so I’ve got a lady that does it for me. It’s simple really. A nice tight pair of jeans, t-shirt with a neck what shows my tits, a scarf or two….and definitely NO baggy jeans!  Makes life much easier.” I bet!

*New Britain’s Next Top Model host Elle MacPherson has had enough of being called The Body! She tells me: “I can’t believe people still call me ‘The Body’. It’s kind of embarrassing now. I mean still now at 46?!! I’m like, come on give me a break. When I was at school I used to be called Elle the Smell….so I guess The Body is an improvement on that.”
She also told me she’s not going to turn into on of these late forty-something pillow faced freaks with help from botox and fillers. She added: “Lets just say I prefer the natural look – natural beauty is far prettier than anything else.  If you try and adjust or add or improve where do you stop? It’s far better to make the most of and enhance what you’ve already got than mess around with Mother Nature.” I agree – and in real life she has a face that actually moves. Shock horror!

*Holly Willoughby sounds quite taken with Eclipse star Robert Pattinson if you ask me. Speaking at this week’s premiere she revealed: “R-Patz is just so handsome, brooding and sexual. I just want to kiss him all the time. The story is kind of like Mills And Boons as all the action happens behind the bedroom door – although I hate to compare it to that.” Indeed, Holly!

*Being a Vampire in a Twilight movie stinks – literally. Just ask Calvin Klein’s latest undies model Kellan Lutz. He told me at the Eclipse premiere: “There was more competition between the girls and the guys to get the better body. I was dragged to yoga as I needed to be flexible and I learnt how to do a headstand. People started passing gas when they started stretching which was quite funny but you aren’t meant to laugh.” Sounds, erm, lovely! NOT!

*Fearne Cotton admitted to being a bit worse for wear after watching Kings of Leon in Hyde Park on Wednesday night. She told me: “I shouldn’t be allowed to go out on a weekday. I drunk a lot of cider and did a lot of jumping around to Kings of Leon. That’s why I can’t wear heels today and stuck the Converse on.” Sensible lady!

*Move over Fabio – Former Destiny’s Child gal Kelly Rowland wants to perfect her ball skills by being the next England manager. Now, I know nowt about football but this sounds amusing.
Kelly told me: “If I was manager I would be like: ‘Bend over son – I want to see that ass’. As England is my spiritual home I was cheering you guys on last Sunday.
“Your technology rules really suck. I felt so sorry for the guy that didn’t get his goal allowed because he had hussled to get that. I’d get the players to completely protest over that.”
“I’m not going to tell you which footballers I have my eye on though because I don’t need their girlfriends coming after me.”
While most drowned their sorrows when our team got given the boot out of the World cup, Kelly was inspired by it. The singer, who’s brilliant track Commander is out this week, invited me down to Radio 1 to watch her Live Lounge performance on Thursday and she was looking super trim.
Knocking back a carrot smoothie she revealed: “I’m actually detoxing right now. When I was watching the game I was eating loads of crap like profiteroles and loads of fried food. So now I’m literally drinking juice 5-6 times which things in it like spinach, broccoli and cucumber.” Miss Rowland, I like how you roll.

With thanks to Jon Furniss and Dave Nelson for Pictures

3 Responses to “This week's column – featuring Madonna, Kellan Lutz, Elle Macpherson, Perez Hilton, Glee, Scissor Sisters and Slash!”

  1. New Details On Leona Lewis' Upcoming Album | Says:

    [...] “She’s an amazing talent and incredibly beautiful. I’d love to work with her and see what we could do. There have been initial talks and it looks positive. It would be great to see what we could do together.” {source} [...]

  2. Brennholz Says:

    oh… now also ms paris hilton takes this shit.. bad paris, say hello to ms lohan lol ;)

  3. Brennholz Says:

    oh my god! now also ms paris hilton takes this shit.. poor paris, say hello to ms lohan lol ;)

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