Posted by Dean Piper On February 21st, 2008


So the Brit Awards 2008 were last night. Hoorah, I hear you cry.
Well, they were OK I guess – not mind blowing though. Here are my thoughts on the show itself firstly….

Kylie – bad move on the outfit. She looked podgy. My mum rang me and asked: “is Kylie pregnant?” Never a good sign. We all know she’s got a ‘new’ figure since her illness but why wear such annoyingly ill-fitting outfits? William Baker should be slapped….

Kaiser Chiefs – big bore.

Macca – Not bad – but starting with such a dull song in his set killed the show’s momentum. He’s a legend but it’s always the same when he performs. The crowd sings and you can barely hear his croaky failing voice.
I did hear last night that Sir Paul rehearsed with the Kaiser’s to see if they could get together for a special performance. My music mole says: “They tried it out to see what would happen. But let’s just say that Paul didn’t think they gelled or worked well together.” Ouch!

The Osbournes – Kelly was great and held the show together. Sharon was fabulous obviously. Jack looked like he didn’t want to be there and Ozzy was barely on screen. Weird.

Leona Lewis – Performed amazingly yet lost out on an award. The talented lady has plenty of years to win a Brit! And she will…..

Favourite Moment – Sharon Osbourne telling Vic Reeves to “piss off you old bastard” when the ‘comedian’ thought he was funny presenting the last award. He’s not funny. He’s actually a moody twat. He hasn’t been funny for years.

Amy Winehouse – The saviour of the Brits. Without her the show would have been a tad dry.

Will Young – His address to the crowd to present Adele with her well deserved gong was painful. Either the autocue was too far away and he needs glasses or he was bored to death being up there.

After the Awards I headed over to the Sony BMG bash at Galvin the Hilton Hotel. The bar’s nicknamed Windows of the World because it’s set on the 28th floor and the view across London is sensational.

As I walked in I failed to recognise TV star Amanda Holden with her new fringe. Hilariously she was slightly tipsy and yelled: “Dean, you didn’t recognize me with my new fringe and all this fucking botox.” OK then! I do like her and her fiancé Chris Hughes though – they are a funny couple and seem very in love.

She had a few choice comments to say about a few of her co-stars over the years – including Jessie Wallace. Bless her. I had better not mention what she came out with! She was excited to see Cheryl Cole out on the red carpet but told me: “Why has she taken that twit of a loser husband back? She’s absolutely stunning and could do so much better.” I agree!

She also told me, as she spilled her fruity martini all over the shop, that she knows the secret to Simon Cowell’s amazing torso. “He does 200 or so sit ups every day,” she said. “But he probably had his tits done to get those pecs.” Funny lady!

Loads of stars were at the bash in the end. I spied Natasha Bedingfield, Will Young (who disappeared to chat privately to a young man for much of the night in a quiet corner), Holly Willoughby and Dermot O’Leary danced for much of the night and were pretty wasted by the end of the evening and Davina McCall tore up the dancefloor with Leigh Francis and I often spotted the pair raising their hands up in the air.

I had a nice chit chat with Kelly Rowland from Destiny’s Child (pictured). Yes she’s a poor man’s Beyonce in many eyes – but she’s sweet and has a great new song out called Work. She told me she doesn’t have a make-up girl at the minute and she’s doing her own ‘face’ before events like the Brits. She also revealed she adored Kylie Minogue. “The way she shakes her heiny is so brilliant,” said Kelly. “I mean giiiiirrrll’s got some moves there.” She also said she loved Rihanna and Sir Paul McCartney’s performances.

The highlight for me was meeting the talented Best British Male himself – Mark Ronson! He’s a dish and all the girls were checking him out. His girlfriend must have a fight on her hands to keep fans away from his, er, heiny.

Anyway let’s look at the outfits!

WAG Alex Curran wears her disco bin bag inspired number with a dodgy clutch!


Shayne Ward looks almost slippery in his smart suit….


Miss Leona Lewis left empty handed but she looked hotter than hot in her two Cavalli dresses.


Rihanna was ecstatic to meet her idol Sir Paul – and she also spent time talking with McCartney’s daughter Stella in his dressing room. Thanks to Outside Organisation for this little snap from backstage.


Just check out one of Roberto Cavalli’s detailed sketches for Leona’s on stage outfit for the Brits. Sensational. Is that how thin he thinks women should be? Girls, you don’t stand a chance….


Pictures courtesy of SYCO!

Anyway, I had better get off to pack my suitcase! I’m now getting set to fly off to the Oscars in Los Angeles. Sunshine here I come!

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